Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Widows Talk About Joy, Happiness, Contentment, Part 2

Welcome to the WCP! Today we continue yesterday's conversation. If you missed it, just scroll down to the next post. And if you're interested in joining Carol's Facebook group, The Gathering Place,  for widows and widowers who are ready to open their hearts to more conversation like this, please let me know and I'll put you in contact with her.
If you're new to the stormy seas of widowhood, then contact me about the widows-only support group called Lifeboat. Both groups are free and open to new members. Contact me with a comment or email me at WCplace@gmail.com
A big THANK YOU and a "Hardy" WELCOME to member #100! Adding yourself to Google's follow this blog membership is such an encouragement to me and an endorsement to new visitors. If you believe in and like what you find here on the WCP, won't you please join today?
Thanks for visiting, and I think you'll find the following conversation fascinating as it picks up from yesterday . . .

CAROL   Thank you ladies! Its exciting, refreshing, and encouraging at the very least! This is where Isaiah 54:4-8 comes in. God desires all of us. Its difficult to have that intimate relationship with the Lord, as a wife. Plain and simple. I'm glad I established that before remarrying. I don't think God would have allowed me to remarry until I did :-) Still, He has to be first. And the PROMISES, have you seen these?? He protects our property, He is our defender, He punishes those who are mean to us and the orphans... the list goes on and on! Awesome!

PATTY  I love you and your way of thinking and what you share with us, Carol. God is awesome, and He is working through you!

KELLY  I am jumping up and down! Wahoo!! I am so glad you ladies are walking in the light and were not content to stay in darkness.
@ Sandy - what that person said to you (about how you must not have loved your husband since you went on with your life), that is the kind of toxic comment we have to close our eyes and pray away, AND pray for the person who said them. We cannot control what other people think or what they are silly enough to say.
Blessings to us all!

CAROL  Thank you Patty! You are so close my sister ;-) You have taken a big step already. I know you will feel this contentment very soon.
     May I make a suggestion for everyone??
     My 'turning point' came about a year and 3 months after my husband died. I had a 2 yr old, and a 3 yr old, I was tired physically and mentally. I knew I was drifting away from God, not towards Him.
     I sat in my kitchen floor and cried out, with a kid on each knee, begging Him to do something! I said, "I cannot go on. I am so sick of this situation, it just plain sucks."
     And as I cried out and prayed, and cried some more, I began to feel peace wash over me, just as if water was gently falling out of my ceiling down on me. We sat there so long both kids fell asleep on me.
     By the time I got up physically, I had a plan. I was able to stand up spiritually. I had surrendered. I told God I no longer wanted to do it on my own, because my way was not working.
     One of the first things I did was commit to a fast. Our church does one every January. Its an individual fast, which means you can choose what you want to sacrifice. I do something different every year, but that year, I decided to go all out with it. I researched the Daniel Fast, and stuck with it. It was so cleansing, not only physically, but spiritually and mentally and emotionally as well.
     I decided then also that I would downsize my circles of relationships. My 'support system' had been infiltrated with people that did not have my best interest in mind, so I cut them off. It was so difficult, but I felt very relieved.
     If you need a change, if you feel like you've grieved, like you've cried til you can't cry another tear but still have not reached a place of contentment or joy, try a fast. It doesn't have to be extreme or long; just something to show the Lord that you are serious about change. I promise He will reward you!
     Commit your contentment and happiness to prayer. Its OK to pray for yourself!! I will be praying for you as well!!!

Join in this conversation with your own insights and experience. What about you? Have you reached a turning point like Carol mentions? Are there some difficult decisions in doing that? This is all part of a larger process, and not simply a one-time event. What steps has God brought you through in the past days, weeks, months or years? Feel free to share your heart.


  1. If you would be so kind as to connect me with The Gathering Place,I would be very grateful.

  2. I rest daily knowing this is the path God has chosen for me. However there are questions I have about what do I do now. As the days pass since Ken's death (yep that's the real word) I realize slowly that everything that has happened in the past contributes to this present that I am currently in. Each day I am growing more aware of God as my husband now and how much He wants me to embrace that new relationship. And lately there has been a stirring within me wondering if my desire to no longer work where I am (a paycheck is still necessary) is not coming from my reaction to grief but a stirring placed within me to call me to something new. Ken and I submitted to the plan God had for our life together and now I am determined to submit to the new plan - I am here ready to serve and Ken has completed his service and is now receiving his reward. Each time I ask God to show me what His plan is He simply says "wait until you are strong enough" and that is true. I can't do whatever it is until I am well enough and strong enough. So I am learning to wait (although sometimes not very patiently!). One thing I always said to Ken during his illness was not to complain about the things he could no longer do and start applying himself to the things he could still do. So that's what I am doing. It has taken almost eight months to get to this point but that's ok - God has a plan and we are part of it! Blessings to all.


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