Thursday, March 5, 2015

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All of a sudden a bunch of family events have come about but I'll be back to the computer sometime next week.
Please use the blog list and search boxes to explore the many wonderful resources, insights from God's Word, and all the friends and role models featured here to help you on this widows path.
ferree

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Widow's Story: How Close To A Man Is Too Close?

Today my blogger friend, Cindy from A Widow's Pursuit new website opens up about her struggles in the early days of widowhood. Here's an excerpt...

What I Couldn't Have---My Best Friends' Husbands

I sense there are other widows that felt vulnerable after their spouses died just as I did. In my denial of grief, about the 3 to 4 month marker, I admit I started to yearn for a male's touch. If I didn't hold such high morals, and if my husband didn't have such good friends that held the same morals as I did, I could have easily gone down the wrong path and committed adultery with my best friends' husbands. They were hurting, and I was hurting, which makes for a very dangerous situation.

My daughters' school counselor had warned me before I began experiencing these feelings. "Don't be alarmed if some of your married girlfriends drift away from you," she said. "They may feel jealous that their husbands' attention is focused more on you than on them." "How sad," I replied. "I hadn't thought about that". She smiled and stood up. "I've known of that happening, so just a warning." We hugged good-by and I thanked her for the advice. I guess that meant...proceed with caution.

I soon yearned to be in the arms of the men that also loved Nelson. I wanted their attention and their hugs. No, I didn't want sex, but I wanted to be closer than what was acceptable as a grieving widow. One night . . .

. . . click here for the rest of the story on Cindy's older blog, Widow's Pursuits. Be sure to add a comment and say "Hi" from your Widows Christian Place. Better yet, get hold of her book on Amazon. Click A Widow's Pursuit for a copy in paperback or Kindle.

Thank you for so honestly sharing your story, Cindy.
ferree

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Memorial Wall for March 2015

Here's the March listing from the Memorial Wall here at Widows Christian Place. I hope you'll use it throughout this month to pray for everyone. If you'd like to add your own tribute to the Memorial Wall, please follow the directions mentioned here. I'd be honored to add your precious memory.
ferree
 
MARCH
3/1/2014 * Robin * Napolean Phillips, in automobile accident * two kids ages 3 and 11 * Prayers needed
3/03/2010 * Olusolape * Adedeji Adentan, cardiac arrest * Blossom 10, Rejoice 7, Eirene 4 * Continue to rest in d bossom of the Lord till we meet to part no more.
3/05/2012 * Linda * John * loving and devoted husband of Linda went to be with Jesus after 37 years of an incredible life together. He fought a hard fight for 2 years after diagnosis. * I continue to have a grateful heart for having had this man in my life, sad that our life together ended, but oh so happy of all the memories we made together.
3/05/2010 * Sandy * Steve (57)-Car Accident * Eric, 40; Heather, 26; MJ, 25; and Grandchildren--Jimmy, 19; Brianna, 16; Hailey, 7 * Thank you Lord for the 10 ½ years Steve and I had together. What a blessing you were and still are in my life. I also lost my Mom, Shirley Conrad a few months later on Aug 6, 2010 to lung cancer * You were so sad the day Steve was killed. I know now you are both happy being together in God’s presence!
3/7/2010 * Joannah * Michael, kidney cancer * Our daughter, Michaela Grace, was miraculously conceived via IVF six months after her daddy’s passing. She is my joy! * I miss Michael with every breath. He was my best friend, and he made my life so much fun. I cling to the Lord’s promises, knowing that Michael, Michaela, and I will have Eternity together. Come, Lord Jesus!
3/08/2012 * Heather * Chuck ...Liver failure * Nicholas 28, Natasia 26, Naaman 23, Noêl 16, Naomi 15, Nevada 13, Neryah 10, Nalana 9 * We were happily married for 31 years. He was my everything, my knight in shining armor, my world. * Kentucky, USA
3/09/2010 * Sonya D. * Thomas D. of Hypertensive Cardiovascular Disease and Diabetes * My stepchildren: Elana D was 24 years-old, Thomas D, II was 22 years-old; My children: Ariana D was 6 years-old, Elijah D was 2 months old. * He was a hardworking, dedicated Christian with a smile that brightened up a room. I am working every day through the ups and downs for the life we planned for our babies, trying to navigate the road we were supposed to be on together. I will succeed despite it all. I know full well only the God that took you 3 years past the doctor’s prognosis can take me through. Thank you for being a great example of perseverance. Rest in Peace.
3/10/2011 * Vanessa - Eddie (55), Liver disease * Left behind 4 grown children and 5 grandchildren. * A faithful husband, father, friend, and most of all, a faithful servant of God.
3/10/ 2012 * Brenda * J.B.; Colorectal Cancer * Tumors were found in Jan. 2012. He fought a good fight at CTCA, but lost his battle here to multi-organ failure on March 10. He left this world with so much dignity and grace, that it would be a disgrace to him for me not to continue on with dignity and grace. But it is definitely not easy to go on without him after almost 24 years of marriage! God has given me the courage to keep moving forward so far and I know HE won't let me down. That doesn't stop the emotions of grief from being there and wanting to have JB back again!
3/11/2013 * Lynn * Kenneth age 44, leukemia * Lily, age 7 * Ken was my best friend, a great father and loving husband. He is greatly missed and will forever be in our hearts. We are so thankful that he is suffering no more. Until we meet again.....
3/11/2013 * Jennifer Clark-Crumpton * Tovetrice Crumpton aka (TEE, 33 yrs old) died from rhabdomyosarcoma (childhood cancer) * Jayonna (6) & Tayonna (6mos.) * Tee was my knight in shining armour. Just married 3/27/12 but together for 8 years. I am trying to live my life as he would have wanted. He was all about family. Tee was a great husband and father. My true love...Love Always. * Your wife JEN
3/12/2011 * Jan * Tom, died on after a very short 4-1/2 month battle with brain cancer (glioblastoma). * He left behind two children from his first marriage, a daughter, Stacy, 30 (married to Kyle, mother of Charlotte, 18 months, and expecting her second child – another daughter born 3-1/2 months after his death, Eleanor); a son, Matthew, 27 (newly engaged and married 8 months later to Melissa); and our two sons – Tim, turned 18 a month after his dad’s death, and Peter who turned 13 two weeks after losing his dad. * We had been married for 19-1/2 years. He fufilled my heart’s desire for a secure, stabile home and a family. He was a faithful servant of the Lord to everyone God placed in his path. We miss him terribly. Our lives have been forever changed, but God is faithful and good and we trust the plans He has for us!
3/12/2012 * Diane * Allen (66) had double- hit lymphoma and lost the battle on March 12, 2012, less than 90 days after we realized he was sick! We had recently purchased a new house and were really looking forward to this “slower paced” time of our lives. We were married nearly 46.5 years and have 3 wonderful sons, Al 36, Chris 34 and Jeff 32. * This journey of grief and mourning has been absolutely overwhelming. Losing Allen rocked my world and left my life in shambles! Thanks to God’s amazing grace I am making progress . Being the one left behind is very difficult , but God is forever faithful!
3/12/2013 * Amy * Dan- 50 years old; heart attack * Elizabeth (16) * I'll love you forever and always
3/16/2009 * Kelly C. * John – respiratory arrest * James, 21; Matthew was one week away from his 15th birthday * We only dated for four months before John proposed. We got married six months later, and had almost 28 years together. John made me laugh every day.
3/17/2007 * Pat * John, brain death (due to loss of oxygen after minor surgery) * Sara-25, Danny-23, Caroline-21 * Human language cannot express what is inside of me. I will always love and miss John. I will forever praise our Lord for the life and love we shared. John’s life was a testament to Prov. 17:22a - “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine…” John, I will meet you in glory when the Lord calls my name. Until then, I remain under the shadow of His wings. “A good name is better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one’s birth” Eccles 7:1.
3/18/2013 * Chevonne Reynolds * William J. Reynolds Sr., age 33, cardiac arrest * William J. Reynolds Jr. (age 10) * Cheronda C. Reynolds (age 6) * William was a great husband and father. He was a Christian man who touched many lives before he passed away * Georgia
3/25/2011 * Barbara * Steve, died at the age of 39 of a heart attack * Steven, 8; Jacob, 6 * I am so thankful for the 19 years we had together 13 of them married. I miss him everyday, but I look forward to the day of meeting Jesus face to face and being able to worship Him with Steve side by side. The boys and I know that this life is temporary and that we will be in Heaven for eternity that gives us hope.
3/31/2012 * Halima * Tunbosun Sonny Oyelade, in a motor accident * Children: Stephanie 16, Ben 15, Joann 11, and Emanuella 7 * Tunbosun, you were God's gift to us. We thank God for the life you lived and we are proud of you! It's still like a dream...we love you deeply and miss you dearly. We look forward to when we will see you again in glory!

Saturday, February 28, 2015

Opening Our Arms

We conclude our series on 10 Reasons Why The Book of Ruth Is for Widows with, of course, reason #10: It shows redemption and hope for widows!

Widows are living miracles and stories of God's glory. Their influence and legacy can far outlive them, reaching generations hundreds of years from now. What story will you leave for your church, friends, career or family? What words will come to mind at the mention of your name? Courageous? Godly? Loving? Or words like heartbroken, depressed and lonely...? There is still time to live and love, and it starts N-O-W. Let's read what happened to Naomi in an excerpt from my book, page 213.

Naomi held a newborn baby in her arms and as he looked into her eyes, this is what she learned—good things could still happen. Her girlfriends assured her that this grandson would renew her life and care for her as she aged. Naomi accepted this baby, drew him to herself and became his primary caretaker.

God has the uncanny ability to distill goodness out of the worst disasters when we open our arms and hearts to receive them as Naomi did. He’s comfortable with paradigms—with grandmothers serving as mothers, with widows finding new love, with faith as an action rather than a feeling. He’s the Man of Sorrows, yet is always rejoicing.

How can God contain and engineer what we consider such irreconcilable differences—joy and sorrow, life and death, faith and despair? Is it because He takes each life and makes it a story, because He’s the author and He knows the ending?

We get caught up in wanting our story to be that of the princess and Prince Charming, living happily-ever-after with perfect children. We would all choose a cookie-cutter life that looks just like everyone else’s: safe, predictable, indulgent . . . 

But God, the literary artist, would rather burst into our life and turn it into something amazing and full of miracles. Miracles aren’t always as we’d like—that we are healthy, strong, beautiful, rich and happy-ever-after. God’s miracles are of a much higher order. Eye has not seen, nor ear heard . . .

Sometimes He writes chapters into our lives in which the biggest miracle is that we still trust Him. That, like Naomi, we pick up our broken hearts and shattered dreams and determine to put one foot in front of the other until we find God and His place of blessing and redemption. The true miracle is that we go to Him when we feel He has abandoned and attacked us or knocked us off our swing. It’s a miracle that we turn to Him, and return to Him, just as we are, full of complaints and bitterness. It’s a miracle that we wait and watch for our redemption, no matter how long it takes.

With God all things are possible, even with you. May your miracle begin today as the Lord patiently waits for us to ask to know Him better. ferree

Dear Lord,
I lift my arms to receive your grace. Open my eyes to gaze upon my future and help me fulfill the purpose and legacy you have left me here to accomplish. Good things still happen, Lord, and I thank you that I am part of your plan.

Amen

Friday, February 27, 2015

Friday Funny: Male Influence

Dear Ones,

I don't know how your week's been, but if you miss the male influence in your life and could use a good laugh today, let's take a break and get a giggle out of these guys. Just click on this link and start the video:

3 Israeli Police Officers Have a Blast Lip Syncing to ‘The Lion Sleeps Tonight!’

If there's a funny thing your husband used to do that you'd like to share please post it in the comment box today. I always love to hear your stories! ferree

 

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Permission Granted!

We're nearing the end of this series on
 10 Reasons Why Ruth Is For Widows
Today we're on this reason...
9. The Book of Ruth shows that not all widows want to or will get remarried and that’s OK!

permission-granted.png

I felt like someone had given me a permission slip when I discovered this truth--I don't have to get remarried to be happy--It's OK to be single! Previously it seemed like my future as a widow was a big black hole of nothingness if I didn't get married. But Naomi's life changed all that for me. And then, ironically, I did get married.

Gleaning from Naomi's life relieved me to be free from the pressure to marry and the discontent of singleness before I met Tom. I was permitted to be happy again! To be free! To be OK! To be on my own with God and step out of my husband's shadow. All that came to me from Naomi's example.

Here's a snippet of insight --(a tidbit of food for thought in this small post)-- from chapter 16 of Postcards from the Widows' Path----
I have a feeling Naomi could have married Boaz—she had “first rights.” Maybe she just didn’t want to remarry. As I talk to widows I find some like Naomi. It’s not that they can’t remarry, they just don’t want to; they are God’s individual creation, content with their identity, accepting of their lot, even preferring it to remarriage. It reminds me that when God created Adam He created Eve to help Adam; but He didn’t create anyone to help Eve! We women were designed by God to be the helpmate, not to necessarily need a helpmate. I think we’re far better equipped to handle solo living than men are.
What about you? Are you ready to fly solo? Do you honestly prefer marriage? Why not check your current state of thoughts and feelings about remarriage. No one is going to judge your answer, this is simply a gauge for your heart. Check it again in 6 months to see if you've changed:
___Never. Re-marriage is not for me. I don’t want it.
___Probably not. I think it’s a statistical impossibility. 
___Maybe, if I met the right man.
___I’d do anything to get married again.
___I’m not ready to risk losing another husband.
Use the following verse as a prayer for your journey as a widow. The Lord truly will show you the way He's chosen for you as you lift your soul to Him. Whether you remarry or not, His love never fails and that's what matters most.  ferree
“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.” Psalm 143:8