Not blogging and connecting with you for the past few weeks while doing some physical therapy for back pain has taught me a few lessons. Not that you need my lessons learned--but maybe you'll indulge me and bear with me. I need to remember this stuff. If I seem to forget it in the future you have my permission to call me on it, OK?
1. I've learned that God helps me fill an important niche here in widow world. Nobody else provides the networks and venues for Christian widows like I do. I could do better, but I can't; which leads me to the next item.
2. Why is there a 'big girl panties' picture above? Beacause I've learned it mocks me. Sort of puts me in my place. I can't do everything and I've eaten a big slice of humble pie over these past weeks.
3. I've learned I get really ugly when the pain won't stop. I now admire people who are able to be gracious and plow through it. I never knew what it took to do that. You who deal with chronic pain, whoever you are, are my new heroes. And those who are helping and dealing graciously with cranky people in pain? They are also my heroes. I've learned that some of you have dealt with unspeakable circumstances, and I deeply respect you.
4. I've learned that I have a different body now. My brain needs to start agreeing with that. Things don't work as they have in the past so I can either keep aggravating myself by pretending things haven't changed, or I can build new habits that will help and strengthen me.
5. I've re-learned and must continue to re-learn all over again something that widowhood taught me: It's good to be needy and weak. (Not the manipulative, damsel-in-distress sort of needy and fake weakness). But I've learned that there's an honest neediness that only God and His people can fill. If we admit it. I've learned it's hard for me to admit it. But I've also learned that when I do come to end of myself---when I can't bend down to pick up the cup or whatever I clumsily dropped---or I can't take out the garbage---or I can't sit at my keyboard to work on a presentation I must do---when all those little irritants rise up to flatten and humble me---God ignites this strange mixture and does some things I never would have expected. Like last night when my poorly prepared lesson at a homeless shelter turned into a time of creating safety and honest prayer because I had to turn it over to God. For when I am weak I am strong. (2 Corintians 12:10).
6. I'm throwing out the big-girl panties for now.
How about you? What lessons are you learning from your chronic pain---whether it's physical like mine at the moment, or if you're still in the broken-hearted season of widowhood? Do you need to throw out the big-girl panties or step into them....Let's talk about it. Click the comment line below.