Monday, November 14, 2022

Book and Shipping Prices Going Up, Order Soon if you need some

Good news: No price change until January 1, 2023 😊 So right now my book is on sale for $11.99 instead of $14.99, and the shipping is at last year's rates in spite of recent postal increases! 

paperback, 248 pgs.
This book will honor
your past, affirm your
present, and help you
 move forward to
life.  

  • 1 book shipping = $3.99
  • 2 books shipping = $4.99
  • 3 books shipping = $5.99 and so forth. Add one dollar for each extra book. 

Come January 1, the books will revert to full retail price of $14.99 each. Shipping will be increased to reflect something closer to actual cost, probably $1.50 more per book. 

All that to say that if you decide you want to stockpile some more at the current prices, please do so before Dec. 31. Click the "Bookstore" tab near the top of this blog, or here if you're on your cell phone or email. Buy now to save $3.00/ book and $1.50/book on the shipping. I love a good sale! 

πŸ˜•

But, I hate how inflation and short supplies and help are costing more for all of us. I've held off with raising my book price---in fact, it's been at a 20% off sale for years now. But with the production and shipping costs going up I can't absorb it all. My goal has always been to simply break even. Thanks for understanding my heart -- I want you to know that this year is my last chance to offer this wonderful resource at the lowest price possible. I will have an annual 20% off sale in February, but the 2023 shipping will be higher.

πŸ’—ferree

PS. Use the link above to pay with a credit card.

To pay by check: for a single copy, mail a check for $15.98 ($11.99 + $3.99 shipping) to:

Ferree Hardy, 76 Grace Ave., Ticonderoga, NY 12883. 

Please include your mailing address!

Here are common quantity + shipping costs. Please email me if you want the price for a different amount. wcplace@gmail.com

(Remember these 2022 prices will save you, your group, or your church $3.00 per book, plus approx. $1.50/per book for shipping compared to 2023!)

2 books - $28.97 
4 books - $52.95  
5 books - $64.94
6 books - $76.96
10 books - $132.89
12 books  - $158.87


Monday, October 24, 2022

Catching Up: Too Many Funerals

 A dear reader emailed me the other day wondering if I was alright since I've not blogged much as I'd like, nor as regularly. My ideal would be to post once a week---but that hasn't happened. Instead, I'm kind of feeling like I joined the "Funeral of The Month Club"---I'm NOT recruiting new members!

A year ago my husband took a job opportunity here in his hometown of Ticonderoga, NY. One of the best things about it was that we could be near his parents, Don and Elaine. Don turned 88 in May, so these were treasured days. We've seen God's gracious providence in this because on Sept. 21, Don woke up in Heaven. He'd had some recent trips to the ER, but the doctors couldn't tell us much, and he always rallied and was back to normal really quick, so it was somewhat of a shock. The funeral was on that Saturday, the 24th. We scrambled as best we could. Our church is without a pastor, but God provided the best chaplain for it, a dear friend who "just happened" to be in the area that week. There were too many such details and provisions to list here but I shared them with some texts to family. 

Do you journal or jot notes down on a calendar, notebook or save your cell phone texts? I encourage you to write stuff down! You will love seeing God's fingerprints on your calendar or journal!

I'm  sure you all have many evidences of God's grace touching on your day-to-day lives, but especially when crises arrive the mercies arrive. The briefest of note might help you recall His great mercy and faithfulness. Write it down today!

Well, between my father-in-law's funeral and now having a widow very close to me, life has been busy enough. So many good things though---like having a house full of people and cooking and serving! (You might think I'm crazy but I love a house full of people I can feed). 

But, this past Friday was my first husband's mother's funeral---my "first" mother-in-law passed away only two weeks after my current father-in-law did. I was able to attend her funeral in Michigan and re-connect with that side of the family, and also one of my daughters who was able to come, and I got to stay with my sister who "just happens" to live in the area. 

Two funerals too many! But the conversations they created all had a main theme---let's work hard to get together BEFORE the funerals! Funerals are inevitable, and family will heroically juggle their lives to attend. But we could get together with a lot less stress, effort and money to weave our lives together and build memories and relationships that last even better. 

Family relationships can get very complicated during widowhood! But work hard to be the one who takes the first step---(and that's a step you might have to take over and over)---and the benefits are beyond what we can ask or imagine.

Although I only arrived home yesterday, today I'm travelling again! Previous commitment, and it's a happy event. But I will not be able to reply to emails, so I don't want you to be disappointed if you don't hear back from me. I will, however, be able to post your comments. (If you're seeing this on your phone, first go to the blog by clicking on the title). Just look below here and you'll see a place to comment.

πŸ’— Ferree   

Wednesday, October 12, 2022

Widowed---Again

One round of widowhood is bad enough, but some widows remarry. Many of them go through it again. (I will probably have another turn at it--not looking forward to that!). What's it like the second time? 

My Facebook friend Peggy Tillman just sent me a link for her blogs about it. Her hubby passed just last week, and the funeral was yesterday, so she's writing in real time. 

This is a VALUABLE and PRECIOUS gift to those who chose to receive it. Her writing is superb, and her thoughts are anchored in God's truth. She learned a lot from her first bout as a widow, and she's applying it now. I am amazed and so proud of her! 

Please be praying for her---every widow needs prayer no matter how "well" they seem to be doing. Her goal right now is to just breathe and drink tea. 

Let her words and her life minister to you with her honesty, grateful heart and Southern ways (which I personally found so helpful during mourning---Southern culture "gets it" more often than the rest of the country). 

Here's a link and a line from her blog to get you started....   πŸ’— ferree


What now, Peggy Tillman?

"It's a little different this time. (How many women can say "this time" about the death of a spouse?" What a stupid club I belong to now. No one wants to come to THAT meeting.) By different I mean..."

Tuesday, October 4, 2022

Mindy's Story - A Friend In Deed

 From left to right, starting in the back row are
Mindy, Wanda, Sissy, Andrea.
Priscilla, me and Marilyn are in front. Pam
took the picture so she didn't have to be in it! 

I found this photo way back from 2017 and it's so special to me. These beautiful ladies were from the first widows group I had in South Carolina. It's a walk down memory lane! All of them but Mindy went through my book "Postcards from the Widows Path," at Florence Baptist Temple.

Back then, Mindy was a Facebook friend of mine, we'd never met in person. But she drove about 2 hours, all the way down from North Carolina! She made a special trip just to join our Christmas party. We were so glad she did!

"I didn't realize how much I needed to talk to other widows until I went to that Christmas dinner. Even though we were at different point in our grief, we connected. The timing was perfect. It was just what I needed, when I needed it," she reminisced last fall when we visited once again. 

This time we were at my new home on the other side of South Carolina where I'd moved in 2020. My husband Tom was away, working up in New York. Mindy happened to also be on the other side of South Carolina, so we got together! Have you gotten together with your widowed or single girlfriends for a weekend? Plan to do it soon! 

Mindy's hubby died on the day of her 57th birthday, July 25, in 2014. A totally unexpected massive heart attack. 

"We were going out for my birthday, but first he went to get some tires from the back of our property to drop off. I went out to let him know when I'd be ready. Instead, I found him unconscious."

She started CPR, but he was gone before she'd even gotten there. The 7 - 10 minutes it took for the EMT's to arrive seemed like forever. She didn't even get to say good-bye. 

I titled this "A Friend In Deed," because this verse reminded me of her faithful, steady character:
 
     "...those who hope in me will not be disappointed.” Isaiah 49:23b (NIV)

She's been through a lot since John died--too much to tell here, but I sense you can understand. In a mysterious way, the widows I've met seem to get that about each other--we know we each carry a vast and precious history. And even through her many troubles, her faith never ceases. If you are her friend on Facebook, you'll notice that. Lately she's been posting Bible verses that capture hope and God's wonderful comfort and compassion.

Here's an amazing "coincidence:" today (Oct. 4) was John's birthday. (I honestly did not know that when God "nudged' me to get this going!) Mindy hosted a birthday party in the park to commemorate the day that first year. Her kids and grandkids each received some wonderful gifts she put together:
  • a small engraved jewelry box that held a key to the box John's ashes were in. (She obtained the extra keys from the funeral home). 
  • She also gave them one of John's golf balls in a clear display box and individual photos of each of them with their Grandpa. 
  • Then, since there were enough, they all donned one of the ball caps from Grandpa's wall display, and took a group photo.  
Mindy told me that doing this was so therapeutic because everyone loved their gifts and John had gotten to meet them all. Since then two great-grandchildren have been added to the family. She tried very hard to "be strong" and not show her grief to the family at the time. But since then, she's learned it can be a positive learning experience. She said, "They need to see it. It's good for them, and it was good for me....No other way will they learn that depth of compassion." 

She's not only a "friend in deed," she's a mom and grandma in the deed of role modeling authenticity and honest grief in a way that will help her family grow to become mature, compassionate, and full of faith. 

Thank you, Mindy, for not giving up. Those who hope in God like you do will NOT be disappointed.
πŸ’— ferree

Thursday, May 26, 2022

When Grief Turns Toxic

                  

   Grief is a God-given process of acknowledging loss, commemorating love in a respectful way, and then a cycle of learning to carry it, and rebuilding life. I say a "cycle" of learning because it takes a lot of practice and many attempts. You don't wake up one morning and say "I can do this," and then never cry over it again. You do that over and over, and eventually the emotions become manageable and even predictable. But you do not  have to "Grieve forever." 

However, grief can become toxic when the same thoughts circulate through your brain over and over again. It's like the old-time needle on a record player getting stuck in the same groove on the record and cutting it a bit deeper and deeper each time until that one line of music is all we hear. Or like driving repeatedly in the rut of a dirt road, making it deeper and deeper until the car gets stuck. Or like spring rainwater run-off flowing to the lowest path down the precipice and around the hills every year.

Simplistically speaking, the same thing happens to the brain. At first, neuropathways of grief are created when we suffer loss. Then, they heal and grow, creating new and healthy pathways. UNLESS, the thoughts continually travel back over the traumatic grief pathways. When that happens, people get "stuck" in grief, and often in various degrees of PTSD, and definitely need assistance. 

There's a beautiful thing God has created within the human brain, though, and it's called "neuro-plasticity." That means that thought patterns can be trained to heal and grow and recover. There's hope! There's a fascinating webinar on this (although they credit evolution, not God, with this process, but my perspective is that we were created by God and this new scientific research simply reveals the wonderful ability to heal that God created within us). Click here for the link to the page from the American Brain Foundation:  and then scroll to the bottom of that page for the webinar "Healing the Brain After Loss."

Did you know that godly people in the Bible did not always deal with their grief in a good way either? Check out this section of Scripture below. I've highlighted a few parts that show some of the dangers of toxic grief. Please feel free to comment (if you're reading this by email, then click title at the top of this blog post in order to get to the website to comment, please), or email me at wcplace@gmail.com if you have questions or are interested in my coaching help for rebuilding life after loss. 

πŸ’— Ferree 

2 Samuel 19:1-7 (NIV)  

David Mourns in a way that demeans his people and might destroy himself

Joab was told, “The king is weeping and mourning for Absalom.” And for the whole army the victory that day was turned into mourning, because on that day the troops heard it said, “The king is grieving for his son.” The men stole into the city that day as men steal in who are ashamed when they flee from battle. The king covered his face and cried aloud, “O my son Absalom! O Absalom, my son, my son!”

Then Joab went into the house to the king and said, “Today you have humiliated all your men, who have just saved your life and the lives of your sons and daughters and the lives of your wives and concubines. You love those who hate you and hate those who love you. You have made it clear today that the commanders and their men mean nothing to you. I see that you would be pleased if Absalom were alive today and all of us were dead. Now go out and encourage your men. I swear by the Lord that if you don’t go out, not a man will be left with you by nightfall. This will be worse for you than all the calamities that have come on you from your youth till now.”


Monday, May 23, 2022

3 Blogs I Think You'll Love + They have free stuff! πŸ‘€

 Here are three other widow's blogs that are just fantastic! Although I'm sorry they've joined this club, I'm so grateful they're using this time to heal, rebuild, and help others along the way. That's what we're here for, don't you agree? We bear each other's burdens, and in doing so we don't waste our sorrows. God still has so much good in store, a unique purpose for us each (for you!) to fulfill, and our own personal message to share.

I mentioned Clarissa Moll a few weeks ago. Have you signed up for her emails yet? Today she has a couple of free gifts, so get right over there! I know how much you love freebies and these look really special so sign up today!  https://mailchi.mp/afa17e466f49/safe-in-his-handsseptember-15459057?e=86e5af117a

The Pastor's Widow is also great. Her blog is here: 

https://thepastorswidow.wordpress.com/home/

And I think you will appreciate her Facebook page too, maybe even more: https://www.facebook.com/thepastorswidow/

A widow friend in California sent me to blogger Pam Luschei, and she's always on target with her writing. My friend, Sue, told me "a gifted writer for sure. I love the depth of her thoughts and what they teach me." I couldn't agree more!

Visit https://www.gratefulyetgrieving.org/blog and you can download her free E-book!

Mostly though, I think you'll benefit from subscribing to each of these. God's help comes from many people. I'm grateful I have found these to share with you.  πŸ’— ferree

PS. If you think you need more personal help, and are ready to look at rebuilding your life, look into some private Life Coaching with me. Email me to set up a free consultation. wcplace@gmail.com 

For more info, click here: Rebuilding After Loss