Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Widows' Christian Place Original Post

Dear Reader,

Here's the post that started this blog four years ago this month. It's been a sacred privilege ever since to meet many widows, hear their amazing stories and see how the Lord sustains and encourages them through dark, dark days. Not only does God sustain them, but I witness how their grief gradually transforms to growth, and hope, and a sense of joy. They learn that peace and pain can co-exist. When God is their strength, gratitude can overcome grief. It's an amazing transformation and I am so blessed see it!

So please bear with me as I rewind this first post, and if this blog, WCP, has been a good companion for your journey through grief, I hope you'll drop me a line to say hello.

The Day Life Changed Forever
(originally posted Feb. 15, 2010)

Ten years ago this very day I woke up thinking it'd be like any other day, but I was a widow by suppertime. It's hard to believe it's been ten years. On one hand it seems like only yesterday, on the other it's like another lifetime. I was in the kitchen making a salad for supper.

"When's dinner?" Bruce asked.
Here's a "before" picture with me, the dog,
and Bruce on the top step.
Brooke, Brad and Lisa in front of us.
I told him we could have it whenever he wanted. We checked the time, talked about the schedule for the rest of the day, and decided he had time for a little weight-lifting workout downstairs. He gave me a hug--a deep, send-my-soul-to-the-stars sort of hug. It wrapped around eternity and intertwined pretty colors, sparkles and spirals all around me. I loved my husband, my kids, my life . . .

He went down to the basement, I heard a strange yell from him a few minutes later. I found him laying down on the floor--thought he was playing a joke on me.

But it wasn't a joke. My kids called 911, the squad came, the police came. They sent us upstairs. Carried Bruce out on a stretcher . . . a doctor met us in that "Quiet Room" at the hospital. (Don't ever go in there). And days later the autopsy showed a brain anuerism.

Life changed forever that day. Widowhood was nothing like I expected. The pain was so deep it was frightening; and then it went deeper still, to a place where tears watered tiny, dried up seeds of joy and strength. They grow well in the dark. You can't see them at first, can't imagine they'll ever appear . . .

That's what we'll talk about in this blog. The day it happened for you, the darkness, the seeds of faith that look pretty measly, the strength, and finally the joy. Plus the practical, the realities, the help . . .

Welcome to Widows Christian Place!


  1. I joined this group in 2013..5 months into being a widow. I have found your website to be bright star for me when it seemed so dark. I thank God for your dedication and love toward all us fellow widows and I pray you have keep it going!!

  2. And your comment is a bright star for me! I'm so sorry your husband passed, but I'm blessed by your testimony. May each day grow brighter for you.

  3. Think it will take more than "a line" to adequately say how much WCP, Lifeboat, your book, and YOU have blessed me in this journey!

  4. Hugs to you, Sparrow, the Lord's mercies flow with grace to us all. <3

  5. Hi Ferree, your blog and emails have been inspired by God. It has kept me from going totally under in my grief. Your messages have inspired me to keep moving and not stay stuck. Also what other women have shared here and in Lifeboad and Going Ashore has shown me that I am not alone in this journey of grief. I joined December 14, 2012, 5 months after my beloved Edry died. I am so glad that God led me here.

  6. I'll say it again and again and again this blog, lifeboat, going ashore and you have been such blessings to me on this journey. WCP has been a real safe place for me. Your post are so on point and a great help. I have come this far from a place of such despair to hope and joy because of your ministering to me here in your book and personal emails in response to mine. The platform you've given widows to share ie the Facebook groups have been my major support group. God Bless you!

  7. I found your blog one day when I was trying to find an answer to the question of how the second year of grief was different from the first year. I found your August 29, 2011 article called "Is the Second Year Really Harder?" I have been reading your blog posts ever since. (It is now over three years since my husband passed away.) Your posts and then Lifeboat followed by Going Ashore have been a huge blessing to me. Thank you.

  8. Ferree, tears are rolling down my face as I type this. Reading this again touched me anew. Your account of your last hug from Bruce did me in. I, too, can recall my last hug from my sweetheart during his hospitalization, when he was feeling stronger and it appeared that he was getting better. What I would give to feel those strong arms around me again.

    Your blog and friendship has meant so much to me in the years since I found you. Thank you so much for all you invest in us! God has used you in a powerful way in my life and in the lives of so many of us here. God bless you for your faithfulness. Mine is a life that was changed thanks to your efforts. Happy Valentine's Day to you a little early, my friend.

  9. Oh Renee', I can't wait to meet you and all the other widows someday! How God has brought us together! My Bruce used to sing a song with the phrase "...mine is a life that was changed..." When we give to the Lord, that's what happens. And I've freely received, so I can do nothing else but freely give, for my life has been changed too. Happy Valentines to you all. I was so blessed this week to realize that with Jesus Christ as our Savior, we are each guaranteed that "happily ever after" love story for which our hearts yearn! Our longings are not in vain. <3

  10. Dear Ferree ~ I am thankful you started this blog. I found you the beginning of last year if I'm not mistaken. I had lost my dear husband of 43 years in December 2012, and started searching for spiritual help for widows and found you.

    I was devastated as all of us are, but in these last 14 months, Jesus has been my strength, and He has filled my heart with joy. Joy in knowing that my husband is with him and one day we will be reunited.

    Every day is a gift and I wish to live each one graciously and thankfully.

    Thank you for being a light to so many.

    Love and hugs and Happy Valentine's Day ~ FlowerLady

  11. Ferree, Thank You. Even though you had your own pain, you created the blog and lifeboats and wrote your book and are always working for and thinking about "your widows".

  12. Ferree, you have been such a blessing to me, especially in the first few months of widowhood when I didn't know where to turn in my grief and pain and no one I knew could help me because they didn't know what I was going through. I think I googled "christian widow" one day and Widows Christian Place came up and I have been a follower ever since. I thank God for you and your commitment to widows. God Bless you for being so faithful.


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