Monday, May 7, 2012

Curious Cause of A Weepy Moment

Here's a Facebook conversation between widow friends. I thought you'd be curious about it---have you've had this sort of experience, too?

Weepy moment story. (4/25/12 from The Gathering Place, hosted by Carol M. on Facebook, used with permission)

Kelly--My husband (John) was a painter - residential and commercial. He and his Dad owned the paint store here in town. I hired a guy to retexture and repaint my son Matthew's room because we (finally) took off the kiddie wallpaper and border. So the guy painted today. I walked into the house after work and almost immediately burst into tears. The house smells like fresh paint. The house smells like John.

KL--Awww, it's the strangest things that cause us to mourn, right? Love my friend!

Kelly--I went into the room and just sat down in the middle of the floor and cried. Felt really good, actually. Must have needed it. We do sometimes, you know? Don't deny yourself the privilege of crying, really. It's a gift from God.

Kelly--‎@ KL - isn't it though? I would have never thought the smell would totally wreck me like that. But, blessings abound in tears, and I grew close to the Lord as I wept.


Becky--I cried 2 weeks ago when we went to the Cemetery to see our Monument for the 1st time! It just seemed so final at that point, even though Tommy has been gone for 10 months!! I can be laughing one minute at a memory of him and crying the next, but I just let the tears flow and then I get busy and try to stay strong for my family. I have a great support group in my family and his!!!

Kelly—Blessings to you Becky!

Joann--Kelly, I bet you never saw that one coming. I can never decide if those sensory reminders are good or bad.

Kelly--Nope, didn't see it coming. But I count them as blessings, really. The guy stained a new closet door for me, too... and since John would regularly stain doors and trim, that smelled like him too. I loved being surrounded by that smell... it was like a hug from him. Sent from God to comfort me. Doesn't mean I don't miss him... I just liked the "hug". :)

Sandy--I think our sensory of smell can trigger stronger memories sometimes than anything else! Steve had this one aftershave he always wore and it took me forever to get rid of that bottle. But, I finally did! Then I bought a Scentsy scent that smelled just like it! So, I have that going usually in my spare bedroom. Still gotta have my Satin Sheets Scent in my bedroom! LOL! Hang in there Kelly!

Carol--The sense of smell is definitely the strongest trigger of memories, good, bad and ugly. Not just about Tim, but other people and even phases of life. Running a close second to smell is music. I can get wrecked by a song faster than anything. I think as you are closing doors and new ones are opening Kelly, you needed that release of emotions. :-) Keeping you lifted up sweet friend!!

Kelly--But here's something strange - maybe you guys have thoughts about this too. John wore Aramis cologne. I still have the bottles, and I sometimes spritz the bedroom. THAT has never made me cry, it always makes me smile. This paint thing really blindsided me. Any idea why that would be?? Or, is the answer obvious - I'm just weird. LOL >^_^<

Carol--You're not weird. There is no weird in widowhood! Certain things don't bother me when I think about Tim that I think should bother me, and things that blindside me. I think it's because you are expecting the memory when you smell the Cologne. The paint you were not expecting to affect you. Our minds are sometimes our worse enemies.

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