♥ ferree
10 Loving and Lasting Things Every Husband Should Do
(Wives, this is for you too)
No one wants to talk about the subject of death, especially
your own death. Most people think it's something they will think about when
they get "old" and that age keeps getting pushed back. Statistics show that roughly 800,000 women
will become widowed in the U.S. each year. Out of every 10 couples, 8 men will
die before their wives. My husband did a lot of things right to take care of
his family even though we never had any serious discussions about death. Since
he died suddenly there was no opportunity to say goodbyes or make any plans.
Yet he did a very good job taking care of us and laying out a plan. I can't
wait to get to heaven, give him a big hug and tell him thank you for making
this journey a little bit easier for us. I think as you read the following you
will see the fingerprints of God even in the worst of circumstances.
1. Have a will and
update it regularly. This will save your wife a lot of stress. Bob had our
will updated less than 1 year before he passed away. He had me sit through the
lengthy process even though it was confusing for me. I am so grateful.
2. Have enough life
insurance. Can you imagine your wife having to look for a job (or figure
out how to live on one income) while she is trying to manage what you both once
managed, and be grieving as well? Get more than you think she'll need.
3. Have a safe place that your wife knows about where all
important papers are kept. This should include will, life insurance
policies, investments, instructions, etc. Bob had a lengthy list of everything
on his computer. His office assistant knew where all the files were that
matched everything on the computer list. What a blessing!
4. Make sure to have
all your passwords in one place and make sure your wife knows where this is.
Just a few months before he passed away he asked if he could write them all in
my little password book. I have to believe God was a part of that!
5. Discuss funeral or
memorial service plans. Do you want to be buried (and where) or cremated?
We never discussed specifics but the boys and I had all heard him say at
various times he wanted to be cremated and have his ashes spread in Colorado.
It made it so easy for us. He had also attended a beautiful memorial service of
a dear friend nearly 10 years prior so I knew he would want something similar.
A service where God would be glorified and a life well lived would be
celebrated.
6. If you own a
business have an exit plan in place. Although Bob didn't have specific
instructions he had enough things is place that the business could carry on. I
also heard him say on several occasions that he felt surrounded by trusted
people at the business so I knew I was in good hands. They have worked hard and
carried on in a way he would be so proud of.
7. Have good friends.
They will be helpful for your wife and children when you are gone. Bob
& I had some great friends that have helped me so much, I can't imagine
going through this without them.
8. Leave a letter or
video for your wife and children. Although Bob's death was sudden and
because he was young this wasn't even anything we thought about but it is one
thing I so wish I had. I can't know, but I think it would have helped me so
much to have some last words. It is the one area I have really struggled
with. I recently watched a video a man
in Iowa made; he was only in his 30's but had a dream he died so he got up and
made a video for his family and locked it in a safe with their will. Several
months later when he died in a plane crash his wife was startled to find it,
but it brought her so much comfort. He talked about the important things as
well as giving instructions for the future. I know this is hard to think about
and even harder to do but I promise you it is something she will always
treasure.
9. Live each day to
the fullest, make great memories, never go to bed angry, and tell her you love
her every day. Have no regrets. One memory I will always treasure is
crawling back into bed with Bob (after taking my son to 6 a.m. baseball
practice) that fateful morning and having some snuggle time before we started
the day.
10. Love the Lord.
Make sure you know you’re going to Heaven and that your family is secure in
that too. I am so thankful that Bob had trusted Christ and had a personal
relationship with Him. I can rest secure knowing I will see him again one day!
Disclaimer: I
realize all families are different and many women manage the finances etc. I am
just speaking from the heart about my experience. To the wives, you can make your own list of things you can do. I
will just close by saying this: love your husbands well and let them know you
appreciate all they do. You will never know till they are gone exactly how many
areas they take care of or how intensely you will miss them.
