Tuesday, February 9, 2021

A Box of Old Love Letters


What a coincidence! Yesterday I saw this box of old love letters sitting on the bed in the guest room! Please remember I'm still getting settled in and Covid has prevented me from having my gigantic garage sale---so my guest room is where everything lands. Kind of like what the tide washes ashore on a beach each morning. There's no telling where this stuff comes from! I think it's unexplainable until you try to downsize yourself. So my advice is this: Don't! Ever! Downsize! 

Your kids will hate me for telling you that. 

But I wonder, what should I do with these? They are from 1976! I don't really want to read them because I'm remarried now. But I don't want to get rid of them either because they're from the father of my children. On the other hand-- if I were to die tonight-- do I want anyone else to have them? No! And I don't like the thought of them in a landfill. 

I read the book "The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning." The author is an agnostic or atheist and doesn't believe in an afterlife. (I do not understand why people think that if they do not believe in something hard enough it will cease to exist, but that's not the point of the book). The take away is this: why burden ourselves with this "stuff?" The author wrote the book in her 80's if I remember correctly. She was methodically uncomplicating life for herself and her family. I loved that! Some of her boxes she threw out immediately, some she labelled to throw out in a year or five years, and some she labelled to throw out as soon as she died. Maybe I'll do that with my love letters. 

What about you? What sort of momentos do you like to save? Which bring comfort and sweet memories? Click the comment line below to share your insights---they matter! ❤ And so do you! 


  1. This is good for me to read today. I'm 8 months into being a widow, and I know I have a long process in getting rid of stuff and choosing which mementos to keep. It overwhelms me at times, even as I take it very, very slowly.

    So many things, memories, stuff touched & meaningful to my husband. It is a long process, and often filled with my grief tears and prayers.

    Constantly asking God to guide me (and comfort & strengthen me) each slow (very slow) step of this sorting through and letting go.

    Our children's childhood things, my husband's things (old antique radios he worked on, hobbies), photos (oh, so many!), and my things (really, I can do better at downsizing, can't I?!)...

    What do I leave for my children OR burden my children & their families with? I pray every day that the Lord continue to keep me in good health so that I can get this "work" done so as not to leave such a chore for my kids someday!

    1. It sounds like you are doing this beautifully! I picture you hand in hand with the Lord. Take is slow, there's no need to rush, and cherish the blessings and memories along the way. Don't hesitate to include the children and/or ask their opinions too. And, oh, the photos! So many! Sometimes it takes many passes. You go through once and go back months, or years later. It'll get done eventually and each time is helpful. Bit by bit. God bless you!

    2. Thank you, Ferree!!! I'm appreciating your Postcard book so much, and another you sent me with it this past year! -Martha T.

  2. This post is God preparing me for the next leg of my journey. My daughters recently told me that I need to emotionally detach myself from items given to me by their father.

    1. Im glad to hear God is gently leading you along. Prayerfully consider your daughters comments but it is your very personal decision so talk to an experienced grief counselor if you have any reservations. God bless you Wife1Widow, this is among the toughest challenges of life but God provides amazing grace and mercy.

  3. Its be a long process in getting rid of stuff and I'm not rushing. He made 9 months Monday. I sat with my kids told them to pick what they wanted, cause I know everything else will come into play at my time. It's overwhelming at times, so I take my time.
    So many things, memories, stuff, pictures & meaningful things to him. always asking God to guide me and comfort & strengthen me through this cause he is my strength.


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