Wednesday, April 17, 2019

This Easter...

How My Husband’s Death Changed
the Way I See Easter

My first spring after instant widowhood altered 
my perspective on resurrection.
"How many times in my Christian life have I heard that Jesus rose from the grave?"
Click here for the full story at Family It might change the way you see Easter too.
As for me, I don't remember any details about the first Easter after my husband died except that I bought a bag of peanut M&M's. They were his favorite candy. All other memories are frozen behind a locked door in my mind. It was only 2 months or less after he died. It was agony--I could relate to this writer's experience. I had no warm fuzzy feelings about heaven, only cold sharp doubts. A hard lesson of faith is accepting what God has said and not judging it's reality by whether or not it agrees with my emotions. 
Yet, speaking of emotion, faith is also knowing that Jesus weeps with you at the graveside like he did at Lazarus' tomb. Hebrews tell us "...we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses… he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him..."
I want to get to know this side of my Savior this Easter. The ordinary and earthy side, the one who's heart could break. Triumphant?--ultimately yes. But for now I want to think about how he wept at his friend's grave. I wouldn't doubt that he still weeps at the grave of each of his friends (like your husband's and mine), and then --- because he understands and is able to sympathize with us --- and because he holds the power of life and death--- he patiently waits for each of us to look up and see him through our tears. He's alive!---and that's our personal Easter morning. 
Blessings on you during these holy days, watch for him! 
❤  ferree


  1. Thank you for your words ! Its my 3rd Easter without him and its still very hard but not like the first one. He loved Easter and spring and my birthday and our anniversary is/was in April ! I couldn't do this month without my faith for sure !

    1. Dear MindyJo, holidays, birthdays and anniversaries are such huge milestones. I was praying for you over the weekend but was also traveling and not online so I apologize for not replying earlier. How'd it go?

  2. My problem is not just with Easter. My husband had cancer and I waited until the last minute for an earthly healing I often feel betrayed and like God doesn't listen to me. I wonder if I am causing it worse for others when I pray for them. God has answered prayers since Jim's death but I keep going back to the one that didn't get answered. For a while one song, or one testimony in Church would cause me to cry through the entire service, I couldn't stop. That is better now.

  3. I can relate to those feelings of betrayal and unanswered prayers and how hard the church music can hit... so mmuch of what you wrote is exactly what I mention in my book Postcards from the Widows Path so my heart goes out to you. I'm glad to hear that the music is a little easier to get through now and if you can hang on through these hard days of God's seeming silent, and find some godly "walking partners" who truly understand this time of suffering, I can guarantee hope is ahead. Please don't give up. Let me know how I can pray for you.


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