Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Widow Needs Your Advice!

... Mark - Free Clip Art Here's a note that came in my email recently and I thought some of you would have some wisdom, advice and insight for my "perplexed" friend. Please add your thoughts in the comment box or email them to me at and I'll paste them here for you. This is a situation I know many of you have unfortunately encountered but bringing it out in the open can help us learn how to respond in a way that will glorify God and build up His people.   ♥ ferree

Hi Ferree,

My husband died little over a year ago.We were married for 39 years.  Thank you for writing your book on Ruth.  Your web site is  very helpful to me also. 

When my husband died I prayed and ask God to let me the best Christian woman I could be.  I  cling to HIM daily. I pray that when people look at me they see Jesus. That I glorify HIM in every way.  I know I'm not perfect but I want to please him.  In my walk, talk, dress, and actions I want to reflect His presence. 

However, I do have a question, we have some single men at our church and when I just talk to them some people raise their eyebrows and such.  Could you shed some light on this for me?  Should I shy away from them?

I do not want in anyway to be inappropriate.  I am not interested in getting remarried at this time.  I want to be the best Christian servant for HIM that  I can be.
Thank you,


  1. My husband died 15 months ago. Sometimes our biggest critics are our fellow Christians. It is sad but true. i have the opposite problem. My fellow Christians keep pushing me to date. This is unbelievable to me. My point is, there will always be those who question and critique your actions for good and bad. You must go forward in responding to anyone (including single men) with love. Closing certain people out to please others or to appear to be a better Christian, is not the answer. Genuinely loving others is the character of a true Christian and your character will shine through to those God intends it to. Ruth 3:11

  2. I am replyig to your email. I am sorry for your loss even if it has only been a year of grieving for you and I am aware your grief will never go away as I lost my husband of almost 17 years of marriage (in 2005); and a fiance in the past 2 years. The people you think look at you "indifferent or funny" should not be shunning you. The men may you are having a conversation with may also be a widower or a divorcee who needs a female to speak to. They are NOT in your shoes until they lose their spouse or someone in the family.

    Relax and do what you like to help others and God will be with you. Be thankful for His blessings with each new day and He will let you know what is best for you! Loving your family (children and grandchildren) is also a way of praying and giving thanks to God for what you had with your spouse and keeping his memories.


  3. Dear Perplexed-

    As a new widow I have not experienced what you are experiencing as written in your email but I believe as long as your dress, speech and behavior are God honoring you have no need to worry. The people raising their eyebrows are the problem.

    God bless you as you make a new life for yourself! Judy

  4. You do not have to shy away from talking to a single man. You are a single woman now. All that you said about your desire to please God and commitment to Him, can be seen by those around you. This is attractive to single men. You said you are not interested in remarrying at this time, so when talking to a man be polite and kind, but do not encourage a man in any way. Keep the conversations brief and not personal. You are not doing anything wrong. You know your motives, so do not feel guilty. The Holy Spirit will guide you. Listen to Him. ~C

  5. Some people have eyebrow problems. I would not let that bother you. We can always pray for their healing.

  6. I have and still experience what you are going through. First, your relationship with God can not be questioned simply because you talk to a person of the opposite sex. As I am not sure if I want to get married (year 6), I am very careful in dealing with single men, being very careful not to encourage them and watchful if a particular brother and I end up in conversation more often than before my husband passed or more than any other. There will always be those that question our motives but that is understandable, the competition for the few single men in the church just increased. Whether we're interested isn't the problem, it's his interest in us.


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