Thursday, July 28, 2016

R and R: Rest and Reading for Widows and Those Who Love Them

photo by Lisa Bowman
It looks like another hot weekend for most of us, so I hope you'll be able to stay cool and rested. Rest is so important, especially during grief. If sleep doesn't come easily please see your doctor. Adjusting to widowhood is stressful so don't feel guilty if you find that concentrating is difficult, forgetfulness is all-too-present, and that you easily lose track of time. Those things mean you need to practice the fine art of doing nothing so your body and brain can calm down.

Next week I'll mention some good books to help along this journey. But if you're looking for something to read and relax with today, I have 2 suggestions.

Remember when I spoke to the widows' group in Wenatchee, WA? My daughter Lisa came along with me, and if you visit her blog you'll read her perspective and see more gorgeous photos. Other widows who've seen it have really enjoyed getting to know her (and her view of me, I say cautiously), and I think you will too. Click here for Lisa's blog, The Seagull's Almanac.

On another note, I'm sure you've probably heard some real bloopers when it comes to how people responded to you at the funeral and beyond, right? Apparently widows aren't the only ones taking the brunt of foot-in-mouth disease. Here's a piece with a great little tool to help us all: How Not to Say the Wrong Thing in Death, Illness, Divorce, and Other Crises

Remember to rest this weekend, and I'll look forward to catching up with you again next week.


  1. Timely post. At 20 months (will I ever stop noting everything from the start of widowhood?), I found that I was not in a good place in so many ways. So I blocked out a 2 week "stay-cation" – and I'm just about half-way through. I let everyone know that I'm unwinding and to only contact me if it's an emergency. It's been great. I am finding that each day I feel happier, and physically I feel better. I've taken drives, napped, gone to bed early, met friends for lunch, read books, shopped for fun things, watched a couple of movies on TV, spent time searching the scriptures on a couple of topics, and doing a lot of praying and I've also been able to make a very freeing decision. Not every widow has the luxury of a 2 week time off, but I do agree that we need to give ourselves times of rest—and I think that can be a hard thing to do.

  2. Dear Mrs. Mac, I'm so glad you gave yourself this break. Sometimes we need to be our own best friend and be kind to ourself--and we're often the one who's knows best what we really need. Thank you for mentioning how you've done your "stay-cation." You've given great tips to everyone about how they can take some time out too. May the Lord bless and renew you through and through


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