Feelings of Easter
by Carrie Jo Kistler Shride
As I anticipate Easter, I find myself struggling with yet another holiday without my husband. I have a lump in my throat today, have been feeling very angry, anxious, and until now just realized why. Weekends are always the hardest for me and the girls to "get through", but holidays are the absolute worst. Easter was our last holiday with Mike, we had a wonderful day that started out with the opening of the girls' Easter baskets before church and then a great dinner and egg hunt at my mom and step-dad's house. We have many, many cherished pictures from that day, including some from church...I never take my camera to church, but for some reason I did. (God knew why...) The picture on the home page of my blog shows us at church. Mike always enjoyed helping the girls find eggs and then open and see what great treasures were in them. He was as competitive as the kids!
I think another reason for this being such an especially hard time for me is because of the holiday in itself. For me to think what Jesus went through before even reaching the cross and then dying on the cross for me so I can and will be with Him and Mike for eternity...I can't say "thank you" enough. Praising Him everyday of my life isn't enough...I am so thankful, but words aren't enough...I do know that He IS enough for me on this day and all of my "good" days and all of my "bad" days. I know I will always have worse days and worse holidays than others, but Easter is so amazing and takes my breathe away, like a feeling I have no other time of the year. If you find yourself missing a loved one today or any day, praise the Lord for his great sacrifice for us so we WILL see them again! I will pray for God to give us all the comfort tomorrow only He can give...