Monday, July 13, 2015

Steps

This week my widow friends have once again gathered round to help me take time away from my desk to let some physical therapy help recover my back from chronic pain. Elizabeth Fruetel, aka Simply E on her blog, will be our host today, Wednesday, and Thursday. Her husband passed away from cancer on December 14, 2013. They have three children in the early teens and pre-teen years. The following is her first blog post, written a little over a month after her husband's death.

Steps

One step at a time, one day at a time, we are moving forward.

These days are characterized by routines. It's a good thing. The routines that have been in place have helped life to feel stable for the kids. They are doing well. My youngest still struggles a bit more than the other two. He is the one who wrestles with insecurity. It will take a while to rebuild a sense of security with him, but we will get there in time.

I am doing OK, too. Some days are more difficult than others, but God sustains. There are days when my mind tries to re-live moments from the past year. There is a fine line between remembering and re-living. The latter is not a healthy way to try to live. God gave me grace to go through those moments. That grace was for each day as I faced it. Just as I did then, I need to live each day now with the grace that God gives me specifically crafted for today. I cannot borrow from the past.

I still feel somewhat unsettled when it comes to finding a new 'fit' in life. Several of the old 'places' I held are now gone. I know it will come with time, but it is not easy to feel out of place so often. I frequently must remind myself that who I am is not defined by what I do or what title I have. My sense of who I am and where I am in life must be founded in Christ.

This month has gone by quickly. I've been able, though, to get many details taken care of. There are more details to which I still need to attend. There are also decisions I need to make. There is a part of me that wants to rush forward and just get it all done, but I need to be sure that I'm making the right decisions and taking the right steps. It is a very different position to be solely responsible for every decision that must be made and every action that is taken. I am thankful for good counsel.

Through everything that this past year held, and through everything we face now or will face in the future, I have absolute confidence that God has been, is, and will be with us. To be candid, yes, I do wonder sometimes what God's purpose and plan are for some of the things we have experienced; but that is where faith fits in this scheme of life. I would love to have all the answers, but that is God's place to choose to reveal them to me - or not. I don't need to have the answers in order to be able to trust. Even without knowing His purpose, I can still trust that He has one.

I am looking forward to what God has for us ( and I am trying to be patient ). God is good, and He works the details of our lives for our good and for His Glory. My prayer is that I will be submissive to His will, and that His working will be evident in our lives.

© 2014 by Elizabeth Fruetel. Used by permission. Visit her blog, Musings for more of her insightful writing and godly wisdom on widowhood.
Summertime, 2013
 

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