Thursday, March 19, 2015

Widowhood = Suffering? YES! But I Didn't Realize...

Grief and widowhood....

When they happened to me I was shocked, confused, dazed, and in extreme agony. Although I had no physical injuries I often pictured myself on a stretcher being pulled from a fatal car wreck. Suffering and trouble exploded my world and life chaged. Forever. In an instant.

I faced the hardest challenge ever, but I was too bewildered to understand that. No one sat down with me and told me, "It's just as Jesus said, In this world we'll have trouble..." I didn't really look at widowhood as trouble or suffering. I was too stunned. I thought, "I can't believe this happened! I hate this! I want my husband back! But I'll get through this. I'll grieve and mourn. I'll be shocked, angry, depressed, etc. (You know---those "stages" of grief). And then I'll just be a single, struggling mom like millions of other faceless women."

I didn't put it in the category of troubles Jesus told us to expect. I didn't get it that God already knew.

Neither did anyone mention that those words of Christ were flanked by comfort: "in me you may have peace... I have overcome the world." (John 16:33 NIV)
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
For some reason I didn't think widowhood qualified as trouble or suffering. At the time I saw it as an unfortunate circumstance. My heart ripped out---I didn't see it as something God would help me overcome. Maybe I'd picked up that popular platitude --MOVE ON-- and thought that was all I had to do. Like I thought moving on was the solution? Perhaps.

Having come through it the hard way, without any resources, I want to tell you about a free resource that's on the radio this week. Tom told me he hears it on his drive to work every day and replayed the broadcast for me last night: Soaring Above Your Circumstances series by Dr. David Jeremiah. 

As I listened to When Trials Become Our Teacher (the suffering of Job), and A Prayer From A Cave(the troubles of David and depression), I thought of all my widows and readers and how so much practical help sits right there for us all in the pages of Scripture. I wondered how much easier my widow's walk would have been if only I'd heard stuff like this. I hope you'll tune in to these broadcasts today to feed your hungry spirit and encourage your aching heart, even if you're as stunned as I was and look at widowhood as more of a circumstance to live with than a challenge God will help you through. 
(As always, if this post arrives in your email inbox and thelink isn't showing up, simply click on the title line at the top of this page to get to the WCP blog itself so you can view it. Thanks!)


  1. Thank you Ferree, this is the sort of encouragement I need.

  2. As I was taking my shower this morning so very plainly this very scripture John 16:33 came alive in my heart, my S.S. teacher in class this past Sunday quoted this very scripture, that in this world we do have tribulations, trials and suffering... but Christ said "be of good cheer, for I have over come the world" and in John 14: he so lovingly reminds us: "Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid" As our fears, tremblings, doubts, frustrations, all come upon us like a flood of a sunami and yet Christ says "let not your heart be troubled" for I have overcome the world and in me is your peace, safety, strength and assurance. Even though we don't necessarily choose suffering, enjoy it or embrace it - there is a higher purpose for our pain preparing us for eternity and He so lovingly reminds us "my grace is sufficient.
    I looked up the word sufficient and it means {enough, as much as is needed} "my grace is sufficient" thank you Lord for sufficient grace and strength given to us through our pain and thank you for your promise. { your grace is sufficient - as much as is needed.} :-}


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