I pray, I read Scripture, but the peace they bring is more from duty than from relief.
Do you know what? That's OK. Sometimes I just have to do what I can and leave it with the Lord. Especially when I don't know exactly what I'm praying for. I live in a fallen world and sometimes I'm incapable of understanding all the mechanics of the spiritual around me. I think that's called walking by faith; trusting God even though I don't exactly know or understand what's happening around me.
But the disquiet has a purpose. It urges me to pray, to be alert, to spend time in the Word. But I've also learned---surprisingly---to listen to some music. Yes. Some days we need music in addition to prayer and Bible reading.
What is it about music?
Do you know that humans are the only creatures who create music? Birds sing, angels sing, stars sing, even whales sing. But only humans create new combinations of notes, melodies, and tones. Only humans translate what the heart feels--joy, sorrow, yearning, giddiness--a spectrum of emotion--into something the ear can hear. Music expresses to the outside world what's going on in the heart.
Music also leads me to worship...an essential but often overlooked Christian practice. I was reminded of this by my pastor's urgings on Sunday to really think about the words of the hymns and to offer singing as a form of worship. Singing is so hard for many grieving people. How is it for you?
Those are just some of my random thoughts about music. I never thought about it much until singing became so emotionally overwhelming after my husband died. Did you find that, too?
This disquiet in my soul, this restlessness . . . sometimes it's a thirst for music and worship. The existence of music, and my ability to relate to it expresses that I am part of a larger community, I'm a piece of the puzzle we call life. I dive into it today, not only giving my life to God, but worshipping Him and asking Him to take it in the best sense of meaning. The following hymn translates my feelings into words and music. What songs express your inner, unspoken mysteries?
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