Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Widows Can Help Widows & Themselves

Did you know that helping others helps yourself?

Maybe that's why Jesus said, It's better to give than to receive.
I see evidence of this principle every time I visit my 3 different, confidential Facebook groups. Have you heard about them?

We pick up survivors and help
each other on the ocean of grief.

There's Lifeboat and Lifeboat II because we outgrew the first Lifeboat. These are the entry point groups for new widows and more experienced widows alike. In fact, those who've been widowed longer often become mentors. It's not an official thing, it's just what happens as they converse and share what's going on their lives---frustrations and challenges, prayer requests, questions, and--believe it or not--- unexpected joy. Everyone learns from everyone else, and in telling their stories, experiences, and godly wisdom they begin to understand, adapt, and spiritually grow in Christ.

My Going Ashore group is for widows past the one-year mark who want to look to the future and discuss the challenges ahead. Many became acquainted with each others' grief journeys in a Lifeboat group, and Going Ashore gives them a platform for discussing life beyond widowhood.

LoveBoat is, as the name implies, for those who are interested in remarriage. Members talk about dating and remarriage--both the romantic and practical aspects, and they support and learn from each other and from those who get engaged and marry.

If you have a Facebook account and are interested in Lifeboat, please click here and follow the directions. Once you're on Lifeboat you may consider Going Ashore if you're past the one-year mark, or LoveBoat if you think God might have remarriage in your future.

I don't encourage people to get a Facebook account, but these groups are free to set-up on Facebook, so that's why I use it--there's no cost to you or me. Plus, Facebook does provides a degree of confidentiality and security since only members are allowed access. In fact, if you search on Facebook for these groups by their various names and find them---they're not mine, they just happen to have the same name as mine.

Contact me through Facebook anytime and I'll reply as soon as I can. New members get "on board" our Lifeboats on Tuesdays or Fridays. Set sail soon!


  1. I am sorry to be missing out with these groups, but I do not want to join FB. Is there a way to make a blog be a private place for widows to talk?

    Your groups sound great and I'm sure they are helping many, just as this blog has done.

    Have a good week ~ FlowerLady

  2. Maybe this comment belonged to yesterdays post, but I just had to share this, about the When's, Why's, how much more, how much longer? etc...
    An invaluable lesson from my Kitty......
    Not to long ago I had my kitty spade, she came through the surgery fine but in a couple of weeks her wound wasn't healing, it remained to stay open and raw.
    I took her to the Vet and he told me "the reason her wound wasn't healing was because-- she kept it opened from her constant licking and over attention she was giving it". He went on to say "a wound will continue to stay opened and raw if it is being constantly licked, pampered and overly attentive to, I'm going to let you put this collar (I call an umbrella) around her neck to distract her from her constant licking it, and in time it will heal.
    I begin to think about his words and thought about my own wounds of widowhood, just like the kitty, am I overly licking my wound of a broken heart, overly pampering my raw emotions or do I need to put up the umbrella of God's love over my heart and trust him. Trust that he know's what he's doing, trust Him even when it is painful and I don't understand .
    Isaiah 54.4-5 reminds us there will come a time when we will no longer remember (the reproach of our widowhood), for thy Maker is now thy husband. He is saying I will now love you only as a husband can, give your pains to me and trust me, trust that I will shield you, trust that I now will protect you, trust that I now will provide for you much better than your earthly husband could. Bring your wounded heart and allow me to heal it, quit licking your wounds and raw emotions, allow me to remove the reproach of your Widowhood.

    1. Awesome word. I needed to hear that today. The 18th of May would have been my husband's birthday, and your comments brought me a great sense of peace, and a remembrance of His blessed assurance. Thank you for stepping out and being obedient to the Voice of God.

  3. I too see a good example with your kitty. We do sometimes struggle more by constant focus on self; comparing our status to all the could have beens and would have beens. I found that the walk through widowhood was a huge lesson in self-control. It's not that I wouldn't allow myself to grieve, I did grieve! But I also chose to believe God's promises, and sometimes that meant not looking at or "licking" the wounds. The wounds needed time to heal, and my constant hovering over them didn't help at all. Sometimes widows feel guilty if they're not grieving all the time, but it's important to realize that's a good thing! We need to step away and leave it alone as part of the process. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts today, Anonymous. "Kitty"'s wound needing an umbrella collar is a good illustration of how we can choose the umbrella of God's care and promises for our emotional healing and recovery.


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