Claudette Miller

I'm happy to introduce you today to Claudette Miller. I think she describes her journey and the progress the Lord gave her in a way that will bring hope and comfort to many widows. Thank you for sharing your story, Claudette! ♥ ferree

A WIDOW’S WALK FROM GRIEF TO JOY

by Claudette Miller



Claudette Miller

           I woke up this morning and went to the kitchen to make coffee. Then I realized he was not here. So I turned the coffee machine off.  I had to face another day without my lifelong mate by my side. My heart gave a deep sigh. It had been a week since he went to be with the Lord. But I have not been able to get used to him not being here.
           I so wanted to just go back to bed and close the curtains and draw the blanket around me to shut out the world. But that would be the easy thing to do. I decided to take a walk around the neighborhood. At first my legs felt heavy and each step was drudgery, but I was determined to enjoy the fresh air and let life flow in my nostrils. I became exhilarated with each step and then I knew I could face this day.
            Night came and the house was quiet. The emptiness echoed in every corner of the rooms. I turned the lights on so the darkness would not instigate the depression that I was trying so hard to keep in bay. Oh, how I missed his touch, the kisses that made my knees feel like water. It was going to be another long night without the warmth of his body next to mine. Then the tears came again. I cried out, “Oh Lord, will the pain in my heart ever go away?”
           I heard the Lord gently say, “Lean on me. I am here to comfort you.” God’s words gently spoken to my heart pushed the loneliness away for another night. 
           As night let to another day, I got up and went to the kitchen to make coffee.  Then I realized again he was not here. I sat on the kitchen chair and cried to the Lord, “You are going to need to help me through another day.”
            Work, family, and friends compelled me to continue. One friend advised, “Don’t make any major decisions at the spur of the moment during the first year.  Your emotions are very raw right now.” I headed her advice.
            It has now been one month. At night, I needed something to help my mind stay focused and not drift into a private room of loneliness and grief that could lock me in forever. I had been down that road before, and I did not want to visit that place again. I needed to keep going forward instead of giving up.When I was younger I used to enjoy putting puzzles together, the more difficult the better. I found a 1,000 piece puzzle of a log cabin in the woods by a lake.As I sat at the card table with my puzzle, I listened to the old gospel songs. This helped me survive the lonely nights.
            A couple of months later, I saw a couple holding hands as they entered a restaurant. Then my heart felt the twinge of loneliness.  I will never be able to have that type of companionship again. “Oh Lord, it does not seem fair. He was so young. Our marriage had survived the rough years, and now we finally were reaching the good years. Why did he have to leave this life now? I miss him so much. Words can’t describe the emptiness I feel.”
            The Lord reminded me that He loved me more than any person could. “I know what loneliness is like when My children can’t find time to fellowship with Me.”  His words gave me an idea. I grabbed my Bible and went to a restaurant and found a quiet table in the corner. I read. I ate. I prayed. I ate. I read. I ate. I wrote down words that God dropped into my spirit. When I was full, both of the food and comfort, I said thank you to God and went home. I knew in my heart that I would need to make this a regular outing.
            Another month has passed. I told the Lord that I enjoyed His presence, but I still missed the companionship and conversations that my husband and I would have. The Lord said He understood. He placed it on a friend’s heart to invite me to spend a week with her at the ocean. It was wonderful; just what I needed. We walked along the ocean, enjoying each other’s company. We spent our days visiting various stores and stimulating our tastebuds at new restaurants. We even had a chance to go deep sea fishing, something that my husband always wanted to do. I saw the beauty of God’s creation. I knew that He was in my today, and He would also be in my tomorrows. The week was refreshing and it gave me strength to continue on.
            A month later, I visited a friend, who was director of a half-way house. Subsequently, I was drawn into helping her. Even though I gave of my time, I received much more in return. As I saw broken lives restored, my own life was refreshed with purpose.
            Six months has passed. Nine months has passed. A year has passed. It has been one day at a time. It has become easier to wake up on the morning and face another day. I have had many days that I have been full of joy. I still have days when out of nowhere the grief would hit afresh. God allowed me to shed a few tears. But He would encourage me not to wallow in my grief.
            I have knelt at God’s feet and shed my tears. I have lain prostrate before Him when the weight of this life was more than I could handle. I have danced and celebrated Him because I knew that He would always be with me.  Each new day has been an adventure and I have seen God’s provision. Because of Him I can wake up in the morning with joy.

Please visit Claudette's website and find out about her book,
A Moment In Time With God.