Monday, May 21, 2012

The Exhaustion of Grief

Do you feel a heavy weariness, like you’ve been running a rugged trail with no end in sight? Do you find yourself letting out a deep sigh every now and then, or staring blankly into space, your mind stalled?

Grief is work. Hard work. It's emotionally and physically exhausting. You’ve involuntarily entered an unfamiliar and harsh new sphere without your lifetime friend and support.

All decisions are up to you, and at a time when it’s hard to decide what shoe goes on what foot, the decisions you face are far more important and complex than what shoe? what foot?

The most crucial decision we can make, however, is to acknowledge the exhaustion, the weakness, the draining neediness and vulnerability. It's great if you have friends who understand, but there's a certain something that happens when you tell God how you feel about it.
II Corinthians 12:9
". . . My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness . . ."

It's almost like God is attracted to weakness and neediness. When I'm low--Boom--He is there, waiting to energize me. When I'm tired, frightened, weak, uncertain, insecure, drained, discouraged, anxious, heartsick or broken He is at my side with the sufficient opposite grace to transform the need into an opportunity to experience His strength.

Sometimes it's hard to recognize when God's grace is sufficient, when His power is perfect, but my prayer for you is that this week your eyes are opened to His work in your life. What weakness might God want to counteract with His grace in your life this week? Talk to Him about it and be open to accepting His grace in the infinite variety of forms it may take this week . . . maybe it's just getting this blog for this day, seeing a persistent dandelion poke up through a crack in the sidewalk, having a tangible need fulfilled . . . or hanging on for one more sunrise . . . in any case, if you're on the verge of exhaustion, you're on the verge of God's grace. It's coming, it's coming! Let me know how I can pray for you or help you hang on.


  1. So true, it is very exhausting. But I'm surviving.

  2. I am not surviving. I am in torment over the loss of my husband. I continue to beg God to give him back to me. I am nothing and can do nothing without him. The pain is unbearable.... I have found no comfort or peace. I cry and lash out at God every night...

    1. Oh Lisa, I wish I could help you in some way! I don't know where you are in your journey, I can only offer my prayers and trust that God will send a fellow sister in Christ to be a friend!

    2. Oh Lisa, I wish I could be there to help! I don't know where you are in your journey but I can pray that God will send you a precious sister in Christ to be a friend! I'm glad you were able to openly sheer your pain! I will keep you in my prayers!

  3. Most widows can probably relate to each of the comments here at some point or another, especially Lisa's. It's a hard place to be, and it can seem unbearable when the nights are so long. Lisa, there's probably nothing I can say, but I can listen. I hope you'll email at I, too, thought it'd never end, promises of comfort seemed like such a mockery. Hang in there. It really doesn't last forever.

  4. Like Lisa I am going through a really rough patch. For me it is almost a year and a half. Today I realized that the dreams that Glenn and I had shared must come to an end. They are not feasible any longer. I know that I already knew that deep inside, but today was the day that God asked me to give them up so he can create new dreams and goals within me. Just another phase of letting go of my sweetheart and letting my king have more of me. Lisa, along with all the others, I will pray for you. Feree I really did need this blog entry today. Thank you for being there for so many of us and being open to what sharing what God has for us. Praise Goed for not leaving us in despair.

  5. Jean, thank you for your comment. It's an encouragment to me. The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases or fails. But life is hard and confusing sometimes. Giving up dreams is like that. The dreams you and Glenn had were probably really good and wonderful. Why would God cancel them? What could God possibly intend for the woman who is left behind? I can tell you, Jean, I faced those questions too. They are a struggle, but the outcome . . . well, like you said---God has something new. Although it's not easy--do I dare say this?-- yes I will, I'm kind of excited for you. *

  6. My husband of 18 yrs. went to be with the Lord 3 weeks ago. It was and is a shock to me and my 6 children. We still don't know what killed him. We r guessing a heart attack. I ask you to pray for us. I am leaning on our Lords everlasting arms. Lisa I will be praying for you.

  7. My husband of 18 yrs. went to be with the Lord 3 weeks ago. We still don't know what killed him. We are guessing a heart attack. Please pray for me and my 6 children. We miss daddy very much. I keep telling myself to just lean on our Lords everlasting arms. Lisa I will be praying for you.


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