Monday, January 30, 2012

Anticipating Valentines Day

Hearts, roses and romance are hard to be happy about for widows. Looking forward to this holiday can be extremely difficult. But some of the widows in my private Facebook support group are taking action and thinking ahead to dealing with it.
With thier permission, I'm giving you a peek at the conversation. Please feel free to add your own comments and ideas. We're all in this together and can help each other out.
If you're a widow and interested in seeing what Lifeboat is all about, too, then just "friend me"--Ferree Hardy--on Facebook and I'll let you give it a try. ferree
Apryl: As Valentines day approaches, I have mixed feelings as I am sure some others in this boat do. Last year, I emailed my adult children a love letter every day from Feb. 1-14. They each got an individualized, brief love letter sharing a sweet remembrance, a funny story about their past, some special gift they exhibit, or a prayer for their day. This blessed me as much as they were blessed.  I called it valentine advent. Any suggestions on sharing the love this year?  

Carol H.: Great idea Apryl. Last year was my first Valentine's Day without my husband. He had always honored me on that day so of course it was hard. I decided that I would start sending a Valentine's Day card to people who rarely or never get them-- especially for the several never-married gals I know. As for me, I treated myself to a massage and pedicure. I will probably make that a regular Valentine gift to myself from now on.

Ruth L.: Last year was my first Valentines without Dan, too. I went through the attic and found every card he'd ever given me; he was always writing something extra on the cards, not just signing them. I read through them and just tried to be thankful for the years of love we shared. This year, I'm just kind of ignoring it; it doesn't hurt so much. Maybe I'll try sending Valentines to my kids & grandkids, thanks for the idea, Apryl. 

Many would love to hear your ideas about dealing with this holiday. For an idea on sharing it with children and grandchildren, here's a mommy blog to visit (and be sure to say "hi" from the WCP).
Valentine Blessing Cookies and Classroom Valentines

Do you think you'll do anything special for Valentines?


  1. Valentine's Day has never been a favorite of mine. I was single for many years before Michael and I got married, and I always felt left out, sad, and lonely on February 14th. Now, I realize that it's only a Hallmark holiday, and I just want to delight my daughter with some cute decorations and love her to bits.

    Michaela is my little Valentine now. We decorated for Valentine's Day just as soon as I put the Christmas decorations away. I've been getting an inexpensive bouquet of flowers every week at Trader Joe's for us, too. I put out the Valentine's cards that Michael gave me over the years.

  2. How true! It IS "only a Hallmark holiday." Joannah, your words offer some great perspective and practical advice for dealing with it. Thanks so much for sharing. <3


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