Monday, January 24, 2011

Unwritten 'Rules'

Have you noticed how some widows say the following:
  • I miss him so much; life will never be the same!
  • I miss him so much; I'll never be happy again, I'll never love anyone again!
Now we've probably all felt that sad and desperate and emotional, I know I have. But if we can step back a moment and look at those statements, maybe we can see a little truth.
  • What do you think of the first statement--". . . life will never be the same!"
Unfortunately, that's true, and that's the bulk of the grief we must deal with and work through. Life just won't be the same, won't be as we expected or dreamed. It'll be different. That's not necessarily bad.
  • What do you think of the second statement, ". . . I'll never be happy again, I'll never love anyone again!"
Although loaded with despair and emotion, are these true statements?
They certainly are negative aren't they? Do they almost sound like an unwritten 'rule' the widow is making for herself?
I'd love to hear your answers! Let's talk about this. When we tell ourselves "I'll never be happy again," (or something near that idea), are we setting some negative groove, or reinforcing a self-fulfilling prophecy?
In Gen. 37:35 look at what Jacob said when he thought his son Joseph was dead:
His family all tried to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “I will go to my grave mourning for my son,” he would say, and then he would weep. Genesis 37:35 (New Living Translation)
What do you think? Were Jacob's words simply a transitory phase of grief? Was does it mean that he "refused to be comforted?" Was he sort of making a "rule" for himself when he said "I will go to my grave mourning for my son?"

What are the most important messages you need to hear today? What are some 'rules' you'd like to follow?
ferree

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