Thursday, September 23, 2010

Here's Myra! "Clearing Out His Closet"

Myra took me up on the above offer, so I created her very own post! (She doesn't know this yet, but I hope to hear more from her in the near future, too!)  ferree

What a wonderful idea. You know I often have something to say, but not enough to start a blog.

Right now, I have a couple of friends who are facing impending widowhood. I feel empowered now to give them assistance with websites and other resources since reading your column on a regular basis. My friend and I have not yet started our widow's group that we seriously looked at doing in the spring, but now may be the perfect time.

About cleaning out the closet...

After my husband died, my mom came to stay for a couple of weeks. She is anal about organization and cleaning. At the time, my father was still living and she insisted on helping me clean out the closet. Thinking to myself that she must be right, we literally dove into the closet within a couple of days of the funeral. Most of the items went to Goodwill and the rest into the trash. My daughters were horrified that I could "get rid of" their dad so easily. Months later I caught myself wishing that I had kept just a couple of things - one of which was his favorite pair of worn out grey sweatpants. I just wanted to touch something that he touched, to smell something with his scent still on it. Like with all decisions after a loved ones death, I would strongly recommend not acting in haste. Wait a couple weeks or months if you prefer. Give yourself time to make any big decisions. You won't regret waiting a little while. One evening not long after the funeral when you are alone, you may want to walk into that closet and just touch and smell your loved one in the only way you can.

1 comment:

  1. This post really resonated with my heart. My husband's closet wasn't emptied until a little over a year after he died. Some friends actually did it for me while I sat in the living room with another friend. Everything went into huge tubs to put into storage, but we were all still crying. Every once in awhile, I'll open one of those tubs and can still smell him. Sometimes it makes me smile and other times it makes me cry.


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