Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Can You Be Happily NOT Married?

We're nearing the end of this series on 10 Reasons Why Ruth Is For Widows
Today we're on this reason...
9. The Book of Ruth shows that not all widows want to or will get remarried--- and that’s OK!


I felt like someone had given me a permission slip when I discovered this truth--I don't have to get remarried to be happy--It's OK to be single!

Previously it seemed like my future as a widow was a big black hole of nothingness if I didn't get married. But Naomi's life changed all that for me. And then, ironically, I did get married.

Gleaning from Naomi's life relieved me to be free from the pressure to marry and the discontent of singleness before I met Tom. I was permitted to be happy again even if I didn't have a husband! To be free! To be OK! To be on my own with God, and to step out of my husband's shadow. All that came to me from Naomi's example.

Here's a snippet of insight from chapter 16 of Postcards from the Widows' Path----

I have a feeling Naomi could have married Boaz—she had “first rights.” Maybe she just didn’t want to remarry. As I talk to widows I find some like Naomi. It’s not that they can’t remarry, they just don’t want to; they are God’s individual creation, content with their identity, accepting of their lot, even preferring it to remarriage. It reminds me that when God created Adam He created Eve to help Adam; but He didn’t create anyone to help Eve! We women were designed by God to be the helpmate, not to necessarily need a helpmate. I think we’re far better equipped to handle solo living than men are.

What about you? Are you ready to fly solo? Do you honestly prefer marriage? Why not check your current state of thoughts and feelings about remarriage. No one is going to judge your answer, this is simply a gauge for your heart. Check it again in 6 months to see if you've changed:

___Never. Re-marriage is not for me. I don’t want it.

___Probably not. I think it’s a statistical impossibility.

___Maybe, if I met the right man.

___I’d do anything to get married again.

___I’m not ready to risk losing another husband.

Use the following verse as a prayer for your journey as a widow. The Lord truly will show you the way He's chosen for you as you lift your soul to Him. Whether you remarry or not, His love never fails and that's what matters most. ferree

“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.” Psalm 143:8


  1. HI Ferree. Remarriage is not for me because I do not want to risk losing another husband. When I hear of widows who have lost more than one husband, I don't know how they have gotten through such loss.


  2. Hi Ferree: It has been a LOOONNNNGGGG time! I have been perfectly content not being remarried for 12+ years because the Lord had not put that desire in my heart. I planned this to be the case for the rest of my life and had absolutely no problems with it.

    BUT GOD! He had different plans for my life at what seems to be off-timing for me because of other circumstances going on, but NOT for God. Little did I know when I went on a Mission Trip to Ukraine a year ago, where I knew no one on our team, that I would meet a Widower who had lost his wife just months before. He was a team-mate, widow/er mate and Brother-in-Christ and the Lord, I believe, selectively placed us next to each other on 3 of our 4 flights. We were able to share our experiences and I was humbled to be able to help him know that what he was going through -- his deep sadness, his pain, his grief -- was o.k.! No other on that trip could understand. AMAZING GOD! We didn't see each other again for months but just in passing until one day he asked me out. A friendship began and grew and on August 6, we will be married -- ME!, the one who was perfectly and truly content and finally happy with being where God had placed me. Who would have thought -- not ME! BUT GOD!

    BUT I want to say that if the Lord had NOT chosen this for my life, I would still be content knowing my life as a Widow/Single was a place where God would continue to grow me and use my circumstances for HIM! So I am not advocating for or against remarriage. It is ALL in the Lord's hands. I see this SO clearly now!

    ~ Beth in NC ~

  3. BETH!!!! As soon as I recover from the shock I'm going to start a happy dance for you! Wow! That's wonderful news and an amazing story! I'd love to see pictures and hear all the details!


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