The following "long sappy post" is from a widow friend of mine, but it's anything but long and sappy. She's writing from the front line of this battleground called grief. ~ferree
Warning....long sappy post.
Carl has been gone 6 years, 9 months and 3 days. The past few weeks have been challenging. I miss him. Incredibly so.
The fact I have learned to fix a toilet, put air in my tires, killed a (very small) snake, lost my house, buried a dog, bought a house, bought a car, mowed the lawn, organized the garage, taken several solo trips and have even fallen in love doesn't erase the part of my heart Carl will always have.
This season of my life causes me to feel trapped between what my life was and what it will be. It's uncomfortable. I am not at a place where I can move forward for many reasons. So I'm waiting on Gods timing. And that friends, is not cool. See? My human part wants to move forward. Be done.....
Grief stinks. It lingers. It's like a sniper attacking at the least expected moment and causing painful collateral damage.
This morning I read this scripture:
so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God's power. (1 Corinthians 2:5)
I do not have to understand nor explain my circumstances. I just have to hold onto my faith in Him-- that His power (wisdom, strength and plans for me) will pull me through.
I am comforted by that. See, at times, that very faith is all I have. And in retrospect I see it has protected me from the collateral damage of sniper-styled grief.
When my heart gets overwhelmed, it knows to cry out the words, "Oh God," to my Savior who does just that---He saves me.
Copyright 2015 by Carol Mason-Davis