Wednesday, May 20, 2015

The 2nd Year

Burgers and Fries

     Today is the second anniversary of my beloved's home going. Early in the morning, just before dawn, he did exactly what the song said - he flew away into glory.

    Allow me please to share this memory with you as my tribute to my beloved.

    We frequented a local place in town when neither of us felt like cooking, getting a burger for each of us and splitting a large order of fries. One evening, many years ago, we headed out to this place and upon arriving saw what we would gently describe as " a homeless man" standing by the door. This was quite unusual for our town. We had lived here for many years and had never encountered one before. His eyes were empty, his shoes didn't match and his gloves had holes in them - and it was cold.

     Upon getting our food, it was difficult to eat, knowing he was outside in the cold. We asked the counter people about him and were told that several people had provided food and coffee for him in the few hours he had been there. They weren't happy, however, with him coming inside to eat so the food was taken outside to him. That knowledge eased our minds a bit - but still......

     The next day I went to work and when I got home my beloved said that he had returned to the restaurant that morning and insisted that the man come inside with him to join him for a meal. The man resisted the invitation, saying "They don't want me in there" - but my beloved opened the door and said "It's ok, you're with me". There were some strange looks, and  I am sure some whispered comments, but my beloved ignored them all as he ate with this man.

    We decided that we wanted to do more and gathered some gloves, a warm hat, socks and a warm sweater and headed out to give the items to him and perhaps purchase another meal for him.  We were greatly disappointed to find that he was no longer there. We were told that he had just moved on as is the way with the homeless.

     Over the next several days through conversations with various business people and the local police it appeared that he had really "disappeared". He was there - and them simply gone - he had not been seen on any of the local roads heading into or out of town.

     We put the experience behind us although we thought of him often over the next couple of weeks. It was getting colder and we could not forget the image of those mismatched shoes and the gloves with the holes in them. In fact, my beloved even mentioned that he had driven around town looking for him; and, how disappointed he was that he had not been able to give him the warmer clothing that we had gathered.

     Then one morning, as I joined my husband for coffee at the kitchen table, I noticed he was quite distracted and a little shaken. I asked him what was wrong. He told me with tears in his eyes that he had had a dream. He dreamt that he was in what appeared to be heaven - he had not died - he was just in heaven. There in front of him was the throne and he could tell that God was on the throne with Jesus at His right hand. He could vaguely see another figure at God's left hand and as he walked closer he suddenly recognized him - it was the homeless man.......... Then he woke up. That dream took my breath away!

     That was my beloved - I was concerned about the man's condition - I was willing to buy him food - I was willing to give him money - I was willing to give him clothes.  My beloved took it so much further - he sat with him - he invited him into the warmth without any thought of what others would think. What an honor it was to be married to him!

     As I reflect on these last two years I recall that statement my beloved made to this man "It's ok. You're with me". This is what Jesus has said to me every day -" It's ok , you're with Me - I am walking with you - I am right here beside you - I will go with you into those places where you do not feel welcome - those places of loneliness - those places of sorrow - those places where you cry - those places that are strange and uncomfortable. It's ok, you're with Me in this place of widowhood."

     Tomorrow will be the first day of year three - and Jesus says "It's ok, You're with me.

     He is with you also dear one - be at peace this night - for He loves you so....

© 2013 by Linda Lint. Used by permission. Visit Linda's blog, Sparrow Scrolls and view the original post and comments here.


  1. Thank you, Linda,for your sweet thoughts. I am 18 months into this journey and have found this 2nd year very difficult. Yesterday, I read several of your blogs and your openess was
    very encouraging. I love how you communicate God's precious love even in---perhaps
    especially in--- these hard days. Kathy B.

    1. Dearest Kathy thank you for blessing me with your kind words today. I also found the second year to be difficult - in a different way. Hold on to Jesus dear sister as you continue forward - each day brings healing - I promise. Linda

  2. I honestly don't even remember my first or even second year , just getting up and making up my bed was a great accomplishment. I was too tired to even try to process the reality of what had happened. I have read that numbness and fog is nature's design by God to soften the shock and cushion the blow of life's traumatic situations. For these past three years the Lord has given me grace for grief and strength for each day Thank you Linda for your reassuring words and reminder...... "it's okay you're with me" in our journey of widow hood. This enables us to face each new day with grace, strength and gratitude. God bless L/ Dodi

  3. Dodi, I continued working for two years after my husband passed - don't remember too much about it either! The third year things began to level out a bit and now just a couple of days away from #4 I am beginning to focus on a direction. Grief is still a daily part of my life but now I direct it - it no longer rules me. Blessings to you dear sister as you continue your journey. Thank you for your kind words today! Linda


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