Thursday, February 26, 2015

Permission Granted!

We're nearing the end of this series on
 10 Reasons Why Ruth Is For Widows
Today we're on this reason...
9. The Book of Ruth shows that not all widows want to or will get remarried and that’s OK!


I felt like someone had given me a permission slip when I discovered this truth--I don't have to get remarried to be happy--It's OK to be single! Previously it seemed like my future as a widow was a big black hole of nothingness if I didn't get married. But Naomi's life changed all that for me. And then, ironically, I did get married.

Gleaning from Naomi's life relieved me to be free from the pressure to marry and the discontent of singleness before I met Tom. I was permitted to be happy again! To be free! To be OK! To be on my own with God and step out of my husband's shadow. All that came to me from Naomi's example.

Here's a snippet of insight --(a tidbit of food for thought in this small post)-- from chapter 16 of Postcards from the Widows' Path----
I have a feeling Naomi could have married Boaz—she had “first rights.” Maybe she just didn’t want to remarry. As I talk to widows I find some like Naomi. It’s not that they can’t remarry, they just don’t want to; they are God’s individual creation, content with their identity, accepting of their lot, even preferring it to remarriage. It reminds me that when God created Adam He created Eve to help Adam; but He didn’t create anyone to help Eve! We women were designed by God to be the helpmate, not to necessarily need a helpmate. I think we’re far better equipped to handle solo living than men are.
What about you? Are you ready to fly solo? Do you honestly prefer marriage? Why not check your current state of thoughts and feelings about remarriage. No one is going to judge your answer, this is simply a gauge for your heart. Check it again in 6 months to see if you've changed:
___Never. Re-marriage is not for me. I don’t want it.
___Probably not. I think it’s a statistical impossibility. 
___Maybe, if I met the right man.
___I’d do anything to get married again.
___I’m not ready to risk losing another husband.
Use the following verse as a prayer for your journey as a widow. The Lord truly will show you the way He's chosen for you as you lift your soul to Him. Whether you remarry or not, His love never fails and that's what matters most.  ferree
“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.” Psalm 143:8 


  1. I would be option C, but God better put this man right in front of my nose, cause I'm WAY to busy with the kids to go looking for one. I love how you state it's ok to be free, not NEEDING to remarry. I get that 'assurance' quite a bit. 'You will find another man' (Like I am looking, I don't want to 'find' anyone) or 'I am praying God will give you another man soon' what about praying for me to be content with who *I* my situation at this moment, in my humble opinion that would be much more attractive to a man (or at least the man I would even consider to be in my life) then a woman waiting to be completed again...

  2. This is just the way I feel. I really don't want another man. But I want to be loved again....surely that doesn't mean having a man....right..

  3. I feel the same way at times.. I miss the being loved part, holding hands and everything that went along with loving my husband. I miss all of that!! I do want to be content with me; I like the take on Naomi being ok with who she was. I want my life to honor my husband, but I also want to step out of his shadow too. I'm going to be OK!! Ask me months ago if I wanted to remarry.. I would have said yes!!... ask me now.... If the right man came along... I've stopped looking to fill that void with one and am learning to be ok with me..standing on my own two independent feet.... I will be OK with or without a man.

  4. I'm not sure which one I would pick. But, like the person that picked C I agree. I want to be complete and satisfied with me. Jesus has done so much for me. He allowed me to met and fall in love with a wonderful man and share that love for 32 years. If it doesn't happen again, I'm still grateful to have loved much. I also don't want to grieve God by not allowing myself to live the life He has given me to the fullest. I miss a lot about my wonderful husband and I know he would want me to live my life fully for the Lord. I also know taking that stand is a difficult one and a daily fight.

    1. I could have written this very comment, word for word, right down to the number of years. My feelings exactly.

  5. Probably B. Keeping in mind that "I am the LORD, is anything too hard for me?" I tend to think the odds are stacked against it.I don't even think I want to.

  6. I LOVED being married, but I am definitely "A" or #1. No, even though I was somewhat young when my husband went to be with Jesus and even though it has been quite awhile ago, I have never felt God calling me to remarry. I believe my husband is/was the only one for me. Though it can get lonely and I long sometimes to get a man's point of view on things, it is my husband I would want. It can be scary, if I let it, thinking of being without a husband, but God promised he would not leave me nor forsake me, so I must cling to that even when I don't "feel" it. Sidenote: I would not call my marriage and widowhood being under my husband's shadow, though. JMHO! :)


Thank you for taking the time to comment. I am not always able to reply but your remarks mean a lot to me and will appear as soon as possible.

Here are some tips for commenting:
Remember to click the Publish button when you are done.
Choosing the anonymous identity is easiest if you do not have your own blog.
Using a computer rather than a cell phone seems to work better. Thanks again!