Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Lessons Learned From Chronic Pain and Weakness


Not blogging and connecting with you for the past few weeks while doing some physical therapy for back pain has taught me a few lessons. Not that you need my lessons learned--but maybe you'll indulge me and bear with me. I need to remember this stuff. If I seem to forget it in the future you have my permission to call me on it, OK?

1. I've learned that God helps me fill an important niche here in widow world. Nobody else provides the networks and venues for Christian widows like I do. I could do better, but I can't; which leads me to the next item.
2. Why is there a 'big girl panties' picture above? Beacause I've learned it mocks me. Sort of puts me in my place. I can't do everything and I've eaten a big slice of humble pie over these past weeks.
3. I've learned I get really ugly when the pain won't stop. I now admire people who are able to be gracious and plow through it. I never knew what it took to do that. You who deal with chronic pain, whoever you are, are my new heroes. And those who are helping and dealing graciously with cranky people in pain? They are also my heroes. I've learned that some of you have dealt with unspeakable circumstances, and I deeply respect you.
4. I've learned that I have a different body now. My brain needs to start agreeing with that. Things don't work as they have in the past so I can either keep aggravating myself by pretending things haven't changed, or I can build new habits that will help and strengthen me.
5. I've re-learned and must continue to re-learn all over again something that widowhood taught me: It's good to be needy and weak. (Not the manipulative, damsel-in-distress sort of needy and fake weakness). But I've learned that there's an honest neediness that only God and His people can fill. If we admit it. I've learned it's hard for me to admit it. But I've also learned that when I do come to end of myself---when I can't bend down to pick up the cup or whatever I clumsily dropped---or I can't take out the garbage---or I can't sit at my keyboard to work on a presentation I must do---when all those little irritants rise up to flatten and humble me---God ignites this strange mixture and does some things I never would have expected. Like last night when my poorly prepared lesson at a homeless shelter turned into a time of creating safety and honest prayer because I had to turn it over to God. For when I am weak I am strong. (2 Corintians 12:10).
6. I'm throwing out the big-girl panties for now.

How about you? What lessons are you learning from your chronic pain---whether it's physical like mine at the moment, or if you're still in the broken-hearted season of widowhood? Do you need to throw out the big-girl panties or step into them....Let's talk about it. Click the comment line below.


  1. I have had fibromyalgia for about 20 years and the pain and exhaustion became much worse when my husband passed away 7 months ago. I was not surprised about the pain as it does flare up often, but I was quite surprised at the complete exhaustion I felt. Both seem to come and go now. I just have to pace myself. Pacing was difficult before but since Eddie passed away I've been so sad and tired I've just naturally rested more. I have learned,though, as I'm sure you all have, that the pain of my husband dying has been much worse than any physical pain I've ever had. I've never hurt so deeply and been so forlorn. I continue to be shocked that there are so many widows and we all feel the same. I am so thankful for this place to come for help and understanding. God bless you all!

  2. Oh, girlfriend do I feel your pain. I have two herniated discs in the lower right side, L5/S1, Fibromyalgia, PCOS, Allergies, and Asthma. I am in constant pain �� I recently went and saw a new chiropractor. She did a neuro and an ortho

  3. test, as well as x-rays and oh, the things she found. Your comment section won't allow me to post pictures, but I can on Facebook. My sister recently found out that she has Hashimoto's Disease. She wants me to be tested for it. So, trust me I feel your pain. I got rid of my big girl panties a long time ago, if I'm honest, I got rid of them right after Matt died �� So, I know it's hard, but God gave us 24 hours for a reason, He knew that we could not handle more than that at a time. May God Bless You and Keep You and continue to Heal and strengthen you. In Him, Karla

  4. Independent nature is bred in us all and it has always been a thorn in my side. I used to have the attitude - "if it's going to be, then it is UP TO ME" then God has his way of placing me on the shelf and I am forced to sit and be still - I so amazingly watch God intervene and Little Miss Gotta Do It All has been brought down to the right size panties. I now pray, most of the time "Lord, if it's your will for this to be, I trust you will give me the strength"


Thank you for taking the time to comment. I am not always able to reply but your remarks mean a lot to me and will appear as soon as possible.

Here are some tips for commenting:
Remember to click the Publish button when you are done.
Choosing the anonymous identity is easiest if you do not have your own blog.
Using a computer rather than a cell phone seems to work better. Thanks again!