Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Telling Your Story Can Help Others Find Their Way

*Finding Your Way *
We were late and the mountain roads were throwing us some tight curves and steep cliffs. Night was falling, and shadows swallowed up the river valleys and rock-sided heights as the sun started to sink behind the Rockies. I was worried so I called ahead to confirm our reservation at a small cabin. “I’ll leave a light on for you,” the good-natured host assured me.

Those are reassuring words to hear when you’re in a new place and darkness is setting in. Your gracious host knows you may be shuffling around, not sure of where you’re going. Whether you’re arriving at a vacation destination, or shuffling down the hall to the bathroom at your mother’s new home for the very first time, those simple words promise guidance. It’s a comfort to know someone who’s familiar with the area is looking out for you.

So it is with life. We all need people who have been there to “leave a light on” for us. Their stories help light our paths so we can find our way through a dark night---even a dark night of grief.

Why not tell a bit of your story today by using the questions below? Click on the comment box where I've reproduced the questions, and answer any you'd like. Just copy and paste them into your own comment box. If you don't blog and you wonder what "identity" to select for your comment, it's easiest to select Anonymous. optional: Sign your first name at the end of the comment.

Some questions are for fun. With the others, your answers will help light the path for someone else. Don't feel you have to give the "right" answer. The only "right" answers are honest ones! Grief is different for everyone, so your input is very valuable. You don't have to answer all of these, choose whichever interest you most.

1) Name your favorite vacation spot

2) What is your favorite way to travel: plane, train, car, bus, bike, walk, or camel caravan?

3) Which do you prefer: a well-planned vacation, or no schedules and lots of spontaneity?

4) Surpises! Do you like them or hate them? Why?

5) What has surprised you the most since your husband died?

6) What is one thing you would tell a new widow?

Thanks for sharing today! If you subscribe to this blog by email, please click the title line at the top of the page. That will take you to the actual blog where you can comment. I'd love to hear from you!
ferree
  

9 comments:

  1. It'll be great to hear from you! Copy, paste, and answer any of the following:

    1) Name your favorite vacation spot

    2) What is your favorite way to travel: plane, train, car, bus, bike, walk, or camel caravan?

    3) Which do you prefer: a well-planned vacation, or no schedules and lots of spontaneity?

    4) Surpises! Do you like them or hate them? Why?

    5) What has surprised you the most since your husband died?

    6) What is one thing you would tell a new widow?

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  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. Dear Swans, Please continue! Email it to me (rather than comment) and I'll make the space, what you're saying is so needed...

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  4. Yes, finish what you started, Swans. You have a story to tell.

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  5. 5.) What has surprised you most since your husband died? Please forgive me if this sounds trite - but in all honesty " the faithfulness of God's love and provision. Everyday God does above and beyond that which I can hope or think, whenever a trial comes up His provision, strength and comfort is always there. My faith has been strengthened on the faithfulness of God.

    6.) What is one thing you would tell a new widow?
    My husband (Tom) had the extra ordinary gift of showing and making me feel so special, now that this is not happening - to new widows and seasoned widows I would just like to say - if you don't want to do this for yourself .... then....... just in his honor and loving memory of your husband......... do something special for yourself. It doesn't have to be over the top but just something so simple as to buy yourself a flower, cologne or chocolates. Mom's and widows have a tendency to put their needs or few delights on the shelf. So just in his memory - plus begin the daughter of God - continue to carry on those little things that make a big difference in life.

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  6. 1) Name your favorite vacation spot Camping in the Wyoming Mountains

    2) What is your favorite way to travel: plane, train, car, bus, bike, walk, or camel caravan? Cat

    3) Which do you prefer: a well-planned vacation, or no schedules and lots of spontaneity? Spontaneity.

    4) Surpises! Do you like them or hate them? Why? I really don't care for surprises, ie.: a surprise party, because I don't like attention on myself

    5) What has surprised you the most since your husband died? How very much I miss him, still, after 3 years.

    6) What is one thing you would tell a new widow? There are words I regret and wish I could take back, but there isn't any way to do that. I'm sure my late husband would say he regrets certain things he once said. So don't dwell on unhappy memories, just rely on Christ to help you stay positive and keep the wonderful memories fresh in your mind. Carol

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  7. 1) Name your favorite vacation spot. Tennessee. I love the mountains!

    2) What is your favorite way to travel: plane, train, car, bus, bike, walk, or camel caravan? I wish I could travel by plane more; been on one 2x's and it was great!!

    3) Which do you prefer: a well-planned vacation, or no schedules and lots of spontaneity? I do at least like to plan a vacation but also to not have a rigid schedule to follow. Some scheduling is good, but spontaneity is better!

    4) Surpises! Do you like them or hate them? Why? I like surprises for it makes me feel extra special for the person had to take time to plan and then keep it a secret!

    5) What has surprised you the most since your husband died? I think what has surprised me the most is wanting to be with another man. While my husband was alive I told him I didn't want to get married again, for why would I want to go through all the training again!!! But.. now I realize how empty things can feel without having him around and some of the things I've been feeling have caught me off guard.

    The way my family responded to me after he died caught me off guard too. They basically left me alone when I needed them most.

    6) What is one thing you would tell a new widow? It will get better; you won't cry as much, you will become a different person and that's O.K! It's OK to say NO and not do certain things. Some people like to put their foot in their mouth for they think they are helping by saying certain things, let those things said just roll off your back, for if they haven't walked in your shoes they don't understand.

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  8. Just came upon this post:

    1) Name your favorite vacation spot: The Smokey Mountains

    2) What is your favorite way to travel: plane, train, car, bus, bike, walk, or camel caravan? rickshaw . . . uh . . . CAR

    3) Which do you prefer: a well-planned vacation, or no schedules and lots of spontaneity?
    Not well-planned, but a few scheduled activities put it.

    4) Surpises! Do you like them or hate them? Why?
    Not real keen on surprises. Too many bad surprises have outweighed good ones.

    5) What has surprised you the most since your husband died?:
    I still miss him and think about him everyday even after many years. That anger can still rear its ugly head over his dying, especially when I have to deal with heavy stuff or special occasions. That I don’t like to be called “single” still – I am a widow. Single sounds as if it was a choice.

    6) What is one thing you would tell a new widow?
    Just one thing? That’s too hard. First I would ask questions about everything and let her talk as much as she wanted and needed. Then I would be totally honest, no sugar-coating . . . this journey is tough! I would tell her that her grief is as individual as her personality and not to compare it with anyone else’s. Cry as MUCH as she needs and wants to – it is perfectly acceptable, and laugh – that is o.k. too! What was once “normal” will not be, but one day she will get accustomed to the new “normal”. Don’t feel pressure to find someone new and remarry unless the Lord is leading her in that direction. Find support either through a widows group on FB that is secure, but better yet, someone “real”, someone around the same journey time and also, someone farther along – balance. Then I would share these two things.

    First a quote I absolutely love: “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. ~ Washington Irving ~

    One of my favorite verses: “The LORD watches over the alien, and sustains (gives support or relief to, nourishes, carries, bears up under) the fatherless and the widow,” ~ Psalm 146:9a ~

    Then I would just hold her hand or put my arm around her and be quiet.

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