Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Have You Ever Had A "Grief Attack?"

Yesterday we talked about tears and crying jags. "Grief Attacks" they're sometimes called. Here's what I hope will be a light-handed little questionnaire about these darn things.

We'd all love to read your answers, so please copy and paste the questions you want into the comment box that opens up when you click the comment line below. (Email subscribers---we'd love to hear from you too! Please click the title line to get to the blog and comment). Once you've got the questions pasted in, just type in your answers. Use the Anonymous identity (it's the easiest if you don't have your own URL, etc) and sign off with your name or initials if you'd like.
 
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD
survey
 
1) Do you prefer Puffs Plus with moisture creme, regular Kleenex, or your sleeve?

2) When you cry are you all dainty and lady-like, politely dabbing at your eyes and nose? Or are you like me, sobbing and snarking and making a real mess?
 
3) Where is the worst place, or when was worst time you had a crying jag or grief attack?
  • Movie theatre
  • Wedding
  • Dropping kids off at school
  • Hallmark store
  • Coming home to an empty house
  • All of the above
  • Other
4) Share a brief experience or a piece of advice about emotional meltdowns in public.
 
5) Share a Bible verse that has spoken to you about your grief.
 
6) Name a movie that needs a "WARNING: May Cause Crying" label on it.
 
I suppose I should do this too, so you'll see my answers in the comments below.
ferree
 

10 comments:

  1. 1) Do you prefer Puffs Plus with moisture creme, regular Kleenex, or your sleeve?
    I prefer Puffs, but sometimes you gotta use whatever you can find.

    2) When you cry are you all dainty and lady-like, politely dabbing at your eyes and nose? Or are you like me, sobbing and snarking and making a real mess?
    Yep, I’m a mess. Not a pretty sight…

    3) Where is the worst place, or when was worst time you had a crying jag or grief attack?
    •Movie theatre
    •Wedding
    •Dropping kids off at school
    •Hallmark store
    •Coming home to an empty house
    •All of the above
    •Other
    Coming home to an empty house always knocked the wind out of me. The strongest one I remember, though, is when we had to move. My last visit to the cemetery, 6 years after Bruce died, was really wrenching.

    4) Share a brief experience or a piece of advice about emotional meltdowns in public.
    They’re nothing to be ashamed of, but it’s ok to excuse yourself and come back later.

    5) Share a Bible verse that has spoken to you about your grief.
    In Ruth 1:20,21 Naomi had the mother-of-all meltdowns. (Funny how you never hear about it in all the sermons from Ruth). But God knows these things happen and the fact that He recorded it for us showed me that He cares, He knows our hearts, and these grief attacks are part of the growing pains and healing process.

    6) Name a movie that needs a "WARNING: May Cause Crying" label on it.
    P.S. I Love You

    ReplyDelete
  2. 1) Do you prefer Puffs Plus with moisture creme, regular Kleenex, or your sleeve?
    I wipe my tears running down my checks with my hands which I then wipe on to my pants and then use a Kleenex to blow my nose after I have finished crying if at home or in my car. Nothing quiet about my crying when I am alone. Otherwise I dab at my eyes & nose using a Kleenex if around anyone else or in church very quietly trying not to draw attention to myself..


    2) When you cry are you all dainty and lady-like, politely dabbing at your eyes and nose? Or are you like me, sobbing and snarking and making a real mess?
    It depends on where I am and if I am alone or not as stated above.


    3) Where is the worst place, or when was worst time you had a crying jag or grief attack?
    •Movie theatre
    •Wedding
    •Dropping kids off at school
    •Hallmark store
    •Coming home to an empty house
    •All of the above
    •Other
    Other: At a family funeral after my husband had died.

    4) Share a brief experience or a piece of advice about emotional meltdowns in public.
    The hardest is going to church as we never missed going and feel he should be there with me. It brings back so many times of our setting together with his body touching mine or his arm around me and our children. It is so sad. Just like answering these questions bring back all of times together as a couple or family.



    5) Share a Bible verse that has spoken to you about your grief.
    Psalm 23


    6) Name a movie that needs a "WARNING: May Cause Crying" label on it.
    Love Story

    ReplyDelete
  3. 1) Do you prefer Puffs Plus with moisture creme, regular Kleenex, or your sleeve? I use whatever is available at the time.

    2) When you cry are you all dainty and lady-like, politely dabbing at your eyes and nose? Or are you like me, sobbing and snarking and making a real mess? My sobs are loud, and I cry real tears. When I'm with people, I try to turn away or go away from them.

    3) Where is the worst place, or when was worst time you had a crying jag or grief attack? I've moved 300 miles away from where my husband is buried. Going back to the cemetary is so hard!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you ladies for sharing your lives through this survey. You touch my heart as I read your tears and pain. Together we certainly look forward to Heaven and the day Jesus will wipe away all tears. There will be no more crying or pain! Wish I could take it all away for you today...

    ReplyDelete
  5. 1) Do you prefer Puffs Plus with moisture creme, regular Kleenex, or your sleeve? I dont know that the brand matters. .. But I do NOT like the kind with lotion. .I feel like all it does it smear the tears and snot. .. and I do not like the cheapies cause they leave lint all over your face:). But I go with whatever is available


    2) When you cry are you all dainty and lady-like, politely dabbing at your eyes and nose? Or are you like me, sobbing and snarking and making a real mess? I can be a sobbing, tearful mess or lady like eye dabber... Just depends

     

    3) Where is the worst place, or when was worst time you had a crying jag or grief attack?
    Worst place for me is the airport. Represents so much. ..I met my husband on a flight (thank you southwest for open seating:)), it represents all the traveling and dreaming we did together, feels like you are so alone with so many people around. I also have frequent attacks in the car. Oh and I still cry all through worship on Sunday mornings.

    4) Share a brief experience or a piece of advice about emotional meltdowns in public. 
    I just go with it...I let the tears come and if I start to worry about what other people think I remind myself they have no idea the battle I'm fighting nor do I know the battle their fighting.

     

    5) Share a Bible verse that has spoken to you about your grief. I love the passage where Jesus wept at lazarus' tomb. He wept even though he knew he was going to raise him from the dead!

     

    6) Name a movie that needs a "WARNING: May Cause Crying" label on it.
    Uhhh... to be honest I haven't watched a movie since my husband died 13 1/2 months ago. Nothing feels quite 'safe' and I like to stay in the present as much as I can

    Thanks ferree..I enjoy reading and crying with others to. Love, Cortney

    ReplyDelete
  6. Love to you, Cortney, and you're right about movies. Very few are 'safe' for anyone who's suffered a loss.

    ReplyDelete
  7. "WARNING: May Cause Crying" ---- The Lost Valentine - a Hallmark movie starring Betty White.

    ReplyDelete
  8. 1) Do you prefer Puffs Plus with moisture creme, regular Kleenex, or your sleeve?

    I use regular Kleenex, but occasionally my dog or cat's tail have come in handy.

    2) When you cry are you all dainty and lady-like, politely dabbing at your eyes and nose? Or are you like me, sobbing and snarking and making a real mess?

    In public, I am a "dabber". In private, watch out, I can go through several pairs of contacts, a box of Kleenex, or a dog/cat tail pretty quick! Let's just say wailing is the word!

    3) Where is the worst place, or when was worst time you had a crying jag or grief attack?

    In the early days, when I had to get his name removed, like the library or voting, calling a company with both our names on it. Like I said, I dab at those times. I still feel a deep "Siiiiigggh" when I go to a Home Depot type store -- we would go there lots together. And the biggies are when it is something that involves my children, he should here! :(



    4) Share a brief experience or a piece of advice about emotional meltdowns in public.

    I would say, remove yourself, not because of anyone else's thoughts or feelings , but because you will want to go to a place where you can just let loose -- like your car . . . one of my favorite places to cry out (and the shower). An experience I had of a total melt down is when just after my husband died, my oldest tried to take her life. I received the phone call just as I entered my car and closed the door at a grocery store parking lot. I didn't realize how loud I was, but I got a gentle knock on the window and a lovely, kind woman helped to calm me down so I could think clearly to drive home and have someone get me to go to hospital. Don't know who she was except a gift from the Lord.

    5) Share a Bible verse that has spoken to you about your grief.

    It's not really a grief verse, but one of my favorites that I have shared before,and cling to in THOSE moments. Psalms 146:9a

    6) Name a movie that needs a "WARNING: May Cause Crying" label on it.

    "Hatchi" When I read the summary of it, I thought it was a good, sweet dog movie. Oh my! I will never watch it again. I boo hoo even thinking about it. BUT, if you "need" a good cry, watch it.

    ~ Beth ~

    ReplyDelete
  9. 1) Do you prefer Puffs Plus with moisture creme, regular Kleenex, or your sleeve? Regular Kleenix or one of my late father's hankies. I like to keep a clean one in my purse.

    2) When you cry are you all dainty and lady-like, politely dabbing at your eyes and nose? Or are you like me, sobbing and snarking and making a real mess? The first two times returning to church after losing my husband was fairly discrete, but my first public meltdown was in a specialist's treatment room with several other patients after being diagnosed by my primary doc that I had a chronic medical condition. I was a mess after having been stuck several times from an attempted blood draw and didn't think I was understood why I had become so distressed. It wasn't the sticks, it was the first moment I felt completely alone as a new widow.

    3) Where is the worst place, or when was worst time you had a crying jag or grief attack? For me, it was at home alone.

    4) Share a brief experience or a piece of advice about emotional meltdowns in public. My experience of a public meltdown besides the one already mentioned, was the first time I had to go grocery shopping after my husband died. He enjoyed doing the shopping and knew where to find all the items we usually needed. However, it took me forever to complete my first solo shopping trip after his death. Then the cashier had trouble with the register and I felt overwhelmingly exhausted. As I realized I was going to lose it, I almost left everything behind, but was able to check myself because I didn't want to return and repeat the task. Mercifully, the register was restored and a store employee helped me load my supplies in the car. I briefly explained that I had recently lost my husband when the first tears began. Turned out the cashier knew my husband by name as he did hers and others at that store. I think helping a new widow with that first shopping trip would be appreciated. If I'd known how difficult it was going to be for me, I'd have asked someone to accompany me.

    5) Share a Bible verse that has spoken to you about your grief. There were several I recall that spoke to me during that first year of grief: "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you." (Isaiah 43:2). The other is Psalm 121:1,2 which reads "I will lift my eyes to the Hills-- From whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, Who made Heaven and Earth." Another scripture that soothed me and increased my hope within is, "Therefore you now have sorrow; but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you. (John 16:22). Aren't God's heart mending promises wonderful?

    6) Name a movie that needs a "WARNING: May Cause Crying" label on it. "Ghost" was it for me.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thank you Sheila, and Yes, I agree---God's heart mending promises are wonderful---they're true and life-giving. And they bring us back from the brink time and time again. Hugs to you. I pray others will find them like you have. <3

    ReplyDelete

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