Monday, March 17, 2014

Tears of Sorrow Are Like Raindrops

How long have you been widowed? Days? Weeks? Months? Years?

In the first days/weeks/or months (it's different for each person) it seems like you cry non-stop and you never expected it to hurt like this! Like you're flooded. You didn't know you had so many tears. Then you get a repreive. You only cry a couple times a day. After a week or two, a couple times a week.

Sooner or later--there is no schedule, each goes at her own pace--the crying gets down to a couple times a month . . . a couple times a year . . . These crying jags are like labor pains in reverse. While labor pains start out mild and far apart, grief starts out painful, fast, and intense. The next round of "grief pains" are a few seconds shorter, a little further apart. They still hit, but most of the time each new round is a bit diminished; they are a little weaker. Or perhaps you're a little stronger. Brace yourself for birthdays, holidays and anniversary pains. Like labor pains, you know they'll come. Prepare for the wave. But these, too, will become easier to bear.

If the "Grief pains" have done their job well, like birth contractions, something new has been born. When the tears diminish, don't think it's because they've dried up or you've become numb and indifferent. Tears have watered you like raindrops, and you've grown and transformed into the resilient, fruitful orchard of a woman that God had planned all along.

When we look at an apple, we see a piece of fruit with seeds. When God looks at an apple, He sees an orchard. I heard that the other day. It's true, isn't it? I think God sees an orchard when He looks at widows, too.

You might think He sees just an ordinary woman, but I think He sees the real you--the courage, resiliance, and faith. God also sees the legacy of blessing--the seeds--you'll leave for future generations by the choices you make today. There is a lot more "fruit" to be produced in your life, and many more "trees" to grow which will provide the shade of God's goodness to the world because of you. What sort of plans do you think God has in store for you?

Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings.

Psalm 17:8 (English Standard Version)


  1. It is interesting how God works.Just today,I was thinking about how I have changed in the last,almost four years. I hardly recognize the person I was before Jake passed away.I have pushed,pulled and stretched in so many different directions and all of it is good. God is blessing me and leading me down paths I would never have had the courage to walk when my husband was at my side.Having said all that,I still miss Jake every day,but with the strength of God in me,I will move forward,as God leads.

  2. I am learning God gives us a reservoir of grace for grief also learning to live in the present. Notice I said (learning). If I look back, it is with thankfulness, joy and of the wonderful gift God chose to bless me with. Have I arrived? No not hardly but looking back with thankfulness gives me peace and joy for the present.

  3. Even though it's just been 15 months since my dear Mark went to heaven, I see changes in my own life too. The tears don't come as often, although I did have a good cry the other night, but it passed after letting them flow and talking to God while crying and picturing my dear husband with God in perfect health, peace and harmony.

    I found a widow's group 'Friends Needing Friends'. Designed a blog and take care of it for them, and am the photographer for our meetings too. Amazing!

    I have been drawn closer to God and He is now my husband. He is my strength each and every day and I am thankful to Him for His many blessings and for the lessons I am learning.


  4. These comments are such beautiful illustrations of God's transforming grace in your lives. I cherish them. And you!


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