Monday, December 30, 2013

Tips for Facing A New Year

Even though all the Christmas packages have been unwrapped and maybe the tree is already gone, there's still one big package to open. For most widows I suspect its like the proverbial elephant in the living room---we're trying to ignore it and that's really awkward because the beast is obviously there. We wish it would go away but it won't; it's too big to handle ourselves. The elephant in the living room--this mysterious, unopened package--is a brand new year.

Maybe you're not done with the old year, you say? Maybe it's too soon, the grief too fresh, the shock still a constant companion?

Ahh, then here's what to do: lean into the new year, looking forward to it as a time of rest and recovery. Learn about the grief journey, collect and preserve your memories, find mentors or role models, and spot and follow your Shepherd through the valley of Psalm 23.

Perhaps you are SO DONE with the old year? Do you feel like you're suspended in limbo, waiting for your so-called life to happen again? Do you wonder if there's any meaning, any purpose, any reason why you're still here? Do you worry that twelve months from now life will be exactly the same as it is today?

Then I invite you to gather your courage and step into the new year. Like before, spot and follow your Shepherd. Continue to work through your grief, but begin to awaken to God's promises, many of which are summed up in Jeremiah 29:11.

As I constantly scour the Internet for resources for widows, I'm continually convinced and impassioned for the need for Widows Christian Place. Widows gasp for hope, and this is one of the few places to find it. Constant venting and groveling in grief merely perpetuates and ingrains the grief. While grief is acknowledged here, I believe it's also important to address the whole of life because the rest of the world will not stop when life explodes and a woman is widowed. The widow is pretty much left to herself to pick up the pieces. My hope is that WCP will help widows do just that--pick up the pieces, adapt to the new normal, discover hidden strengths and talents that God formed deep within before they were born, and with God at their side, step into the adventure of this new phase of life.

Let's unwrap the new year together. Even if it is an elephant, with God we can handle it.
Jeremian 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.



  1. This is so very true. There are some things that only (me, myself and I + God) can do for ourselves.
    A few years back there was a country music song out which was very popular titled:
    "The World Doesn't Stop For My Broken Heart" (but God does).

  2. Thank you for the good words. I am one who is SO SONE with 2013. My husband passed only 5 weeks back but we have been in a health battle since his leukemia diagnoses back in Dec of 2012. I have read in some grief books about “pre-grieving” for those in a terminal illness so maybe I have experienced so off that will all we went through. Until the day he passed his Docs expected him to pull through and get better but now he is dancing with Jesus and, well, I am not. Even though I have been married to him since I was 16 and we were married 38+ years, I am living with the true hope of eternity and am hoping and praying that 2014 will be a better year. Thank you for this site-I glean a lot from it.

  3. John 14:
    Let not your hearts be troubled,
    or afraid, In my Father's house are many
    mansions. I have gone to prepare
    a place for you and where I am, there
    you will be also.
    I guess the Lord prepared our husband's
    place a little earlier than ours, huh?



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