Friday, August 2, 2013

Friday Fun: A Way to Honor

I'm writing late today . . . sometimes my soul needs some time to catch up to my body. My fingers work, they can peck out letters on a keyboard, but the words have to come from my soul, and lately they've been slow. I've learned to take it in stride. This writing life is seasonal and it's better not to force things out before they're ready.

Have you ever wondered why I post Fun stuff on Fridays?

It's a risk. Grieving people and fun don't always mix. I offend sometimes, daring to laugh a little; offering a joke that dives like the Road Runner's iron anvil on Wile. E. Coyote. Surely that's not what I intend; you can tell I wouldn't mean to ever cause additional pain to my readers.

At other times women tell me the joke of the day was "Just what I needed." Proverbs 17:22 says "A cheerful heart is good medicine..." so I try to spread some healing around. But there's another reason for the funny stuff, too. I hadn't even realized it all these years.

I post funny stuff on Fridays to honor Bruce!

Here's Bruce as a bumbling, bandaged pith-
helmeted explorer for a VBS skit. He made the little
kids laugh and "whoop-whoop" with delight!

He was a great pastor and serious Bible teacher, but he was also the sort of guy who loved to laugh. He'd get such a kick out his own story-telling he'd have to wipe away tears of laughter himself while having us all ROTFL (rolling on the floor laughing). We played some unforgettable jokes on people: cockroach in a cup, water balloons, Nerf-gun ambushing our kids, and one dear church lady almost called the police on us the night we showed up at her house! (I'll let you guess what he was wearing! And no, we never did that again!) In fact, at his funeral I told everyone that one way they could help me was to tell me jokes. It was something Bruce always did and I'd miss them terribly now. So I appreciated jokes and fun when I was in grief. It meant so much because of him.

We all grieve in different ways, but for most people, finding a way to significantly honor your loved one will help a lot. Pro-active, intentional honoring is great, but sometimes it's almost subconscious, like my final realization of how Friday Fun still honors Bruce. Our spouses are still a part of ourselves because they're a part of our past, a part of who we are. I now enjoy and appreciate my husband Tom's sense of humor and his entirely different style of fun. But that honors Bruce too, as I know he would want me to love, laugh and live my life to the fullest.

Have I stirred some thoughts in you about how you honor your husband's memory? I'd love for you to share them here, and I'll bet he'd love it too. Also, you will help other widows see ways they can go on while still not forgetting.

Since this is posted so late today, I'll leave it up for tomorrow too, but be sure to check back here on Monday. And, if you haven't already, please select an answer for the "Poll" at the top right column--
"How often do you visit this blog?" Thanks so much!  ferree


  1. It is good to remember the things we loved about our loved ones. It is a way to honor them, and it tends to put a smile on our faces. Thank you, Ferree, for all you do here. Writing a blog myself I know it must be difficult writing a new post every day. That is why I only post once a week on my blog. Enjoy your weekend off from posting. Thanks again for all that you do.

  2. Ferree, I love your Friday Fun! Even in the earliest stages of my grief journey, I fully understood the importance of humor in my restoration process. I believe it is as vital as food, water and oxygen! I love that you now recognize the honor you are bestowing on your precious Bruce through your sharing of humor on Fridays. My Buck was also a jokester. After being on a ventilator for a whole month, one of the first things he did when he was able to speak again was to tell one of his caretakers a groundhog joke, when he found out it was groundhogs day! I wonder if our men are sharing jokes right now?

    Thank you for the way you bless us with your posts any day of the week. I thank God for your heart for widows!

  3. No one could make me laugh (or groan) the way Adam did! Since we were both in the sciences, some of his jokes were things that not a lot of people would be able to follow. I'm still trying to think of ways to honor his memory, but I know I will. Mostly, I try to be more like him (of the two of us, he was "the nice one"). One thing that I was able to do was give some of his blood for genetic research, as there may be a genetic component to the heart disease he died of. It's a great way to help a lot of people, which is something he always did, and it supports a scientific endeavor, which is something he would appreciate. --Kristin

  4. I am sponsering a little boy in Central America. I searched for a child who had the same day of birth as my husband. My husband had a tender heart for the disadvantaged child or abused child. Not only does this precious child share the same day of birth but he has the same first name too! I was very excited to have found him! I found him on my birthday which was also our Wedding Anniversary. I felt that was a very nice way to honor my husband's memory. - Andrea Bailey

  5. Andrea, That's amazing! What a precious idea, and way more than a coincidence. The Lord has numbered our days so I'm sure He had this intended for you all along. I love it!

  6. Kristin, It sounds like you've already found a few ways to honor Adam---scientific research, his love for life, and jokes that those of us with few science skills will ever understand. :) Just reading your comment makes me feel like I know him a bit and I hear your heartfelt words. *


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