Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Do Widows Get Cabin Fever Too?

© by Ferree Hardy
The walls close in and air sticks in my throat. Silence feels thick and bouncy like Jell-O.

It's only 8:00 a.m.

The busy projects of summer are done. The kids are gone. I don't have a job. I'm in a new town---500 miles from nearest family . . . . Don't take me as a whiner, I'm just explaining my circumstances.

I remember days when I yearned for some time to myself . . . but now I think I might go crazy with all this quiet! My husband, Tom, will come home after work today, I hope. Once widowed, one never takes these things for granted. So I'll have some company this evening. But today I find myself in a new and strange and very weird and lonely dilemma.

It's Tuesday, our day for single-living topics. I've always wondered about this time of life---the empty nest. Whether you've never had a house-full, or you're at the stage of life where your house has emptied out----may I ask a question?

What do you do with your day when there's nothing to do? Or, more accurately---what do you do when there's nothing fun or interesting to do, and no one to do it with you?

I know millions of mothers would do anything to change places with me, but I hope someone will take me seriously. Loneliness and boredom is a huge challenge for singles, for widows, and for people in situations like mine.

Please share your tips for dealing with empty afternoons and houses.



  1. I can relate to loneliness. It is a feeling I am somewhat use to now.

    However, being in job search mode means there is always something to do. Whether it is doing something online,attending events in person, or reading up on the latest industry information I never lack for something to do. But the loneliness is still there.


  2. Dear Ferree,

    I could relate to your posting this morning about loneliness etc. I am no stranger to the place that your at. What I would like to suggest to you is to use the solitude to go in deep with God......it is usually Him that is calling you aside to a more intimate relationship with Him.....it takes discipline but the payoff in so worth it. I have gotten more out of my alone years with God than I have in all the years of an abundance of family, friends and the company of others. Pray about it .....and if this suggestion resonates with you.......embark on the wonderful journey that is deeper intimacy with God. Enjoy!

    Much love in Jesus,


  3. Often times as a widow we just dont feel like doing anything....not that there is nothing to do. I can say that I am never, ever actually bored. I don't get bored. I have enough housework..from clearing out closers to junk drawers ...to time to clean the refrigerator again....write a card to someone, walk it to the mail box, take a walk for your health....so much to do....paint that old porch chair, read a book or two....always sonething...never be bored. I believe the real issue is learning to do things without our life spouse near or sharing. Our personal identification that included our spouse is so very disrupted....never to be the same. So try to reach out to others to help them....we are out here. Many of us! And as the last comment-er said....use thus new time to read your Bible and pray. God can and will give you peace with that heavy empty feeling and fill it with only the Peace that HE can provide if we only ask. This has helped me....not cured it all. ..but has helped me. Simply Pray. :). ReginaV

  4. Hi Ferree -

    While I always seem to have a ton of stuff to do, sometimes I just don't want to do it. I want the companionship of my late husband, my Mom's voice, lunch with a friend.

    During those times, I'll call a friend on the phone, go see my mother, put on worship music and begin counting my blessings.

    Susan :)


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