Wednesday, July 11, 2012

The First Book About Widowhood Everyone Should Read

From One Widow to Another--Conversations on the New You by Miriam Neff, Moody Publishers, 2009. 218 pages.
      I can best describe From One Widow to Another as a handbook for widows. I wish it'd been around when my first husband died, but I'm glad Miriam got to keep her Bob for a few more years.

     This book lays out the nuts and bolts of widowhood. It's divided into four sections: Vulnerabilities, Strengths, Relationships, and The New You; plus an appendix for additional conversations and details about specific concerns: children, how to start a support group, church leadership guide for widows, seven tips to help widows, seven holiday tips, and financial forms. You may also find some of this information on her website

     Skim the book and then zoom in on the particular areas you're currently trying to deal with--depression, fear, changing friendships, money, starting a widows group . . . There's value all through this book, but we know how widow "fog" is--- you don't have to start at the beginning or read it cover to cover! Pick the most pertinent chapters for you. Be sure to look at page 33 and following, though--You Have A Board of Directors. It's a great strategy for finding good support and advocates.

     In her conversational style, Miriam will help you understand the strongest emotions of grief, integrate valuable people into your life, identify if people are friends or "users." She helps you become a good "people picker." That's an important skill because, believe it or not, you might be very vulnerable at this point in life.
     Miriam also helps you understand the transformation you're facing. (I like the word transformation so much better than healing. It's more accurate--widowhood is not a disease!) She helps you find God's purpose, a reason for living, and so much more! From One Widow to Another is a title I hear widows frequently mention and recommend as a great help. Comment today and get in the drawing to recieve your own copy.
     Moody Press was kind enough to give me three copies of From One Widow to Another to give away! And tomorrow we'll take a peek at Miriam's latest book, Where Do I Go From Here? So scroll right down to the comment line and say a llittle something to enter the drawing!


  1. I LOVED this book. LOVED!!!!!! I got the recommendation off another wise widow's blog. So good.

  2. Ferree, I love this book as well. I bought it and A DECEMBERED GRIEF: LIVING WITH LOSS WHILE OTHERS ARE CELEBRATING by Harold Ivan Smith at the same time. I buried my husband a week before Thanksgiving so A DECEMBERED GRIEF was quite timely as the holidays hit us "fast and furious." It was comforting and very helpful.

    1. I buried my husband last week and tomorrow is thanksgiving. This hurts so much. I miss him. Nothing seems real.

  3. These testimonials are so helpful (and they get you entered in the drawing for a free book on Aug. 2!)
    Susan, A Decembered Grief has really good reviews on Amazon and I thank you for mentioning it. I'll have to find a copy. :)

  4. Sometimes as a new widow, we read books on grief nit only fir comfirt and support, but sometimes to try confirm that our own behavior at dufferent times is really normal. My husband (he has gone to be with Lord now just short of a year which is hard to believe) absolutely loved tomatoes. They were his most favorite food...not even chocolate was better to him! Last week I picked "our" first 2012 tomato from the vine. For 27 years we would race to get that first tomato and play fight and wrestle trying to take the first bite of it. Always such fun. This year I stood out in the hot sun with that lone tomato in my hand and no competition was there anymore. I cried over that tomato for the longest time while standing alone in the yard. I miss him so much. Oddly, tomatoes rewash me with grief but also with fond memories. Not sure if books can justify that behavior, but I do know that God knows and definitely understands it. (ReginaV)

  5. From Widow to Widow sounds like a practical manual for widows. It will be nice to know how to determine users and those with genuine intentions to help I really need that with people coming round to offer advice or help. Halima

  6. A friend and I have started a group for widows at our church and we are going to go through this book in the fall. I am excited to see she has a 2nd book out and look forward to reading it. Maybe we can use that one in the spring!

  7. This is the first book I read after my husband died, and I think it helped alot.

  8. Colleen, I've been trying to reach you to let you know your name was drawn in the free book give-away! Please email me asap at so I can find out which book you'd like and where I should send it. Thanks!

  9. Dear Anonymous, I'm so sorry to hear that your husband died last week, and now you face Thanksgiving. You probably wonder what there is to be thankful about, the pain seems unbelievable and so raw. I hope you have people around you who will understand what this is like and be able to be there for you. And always feel free to contact me. I'm not always able to answer immediately, but you'll be in my thoughts and prayers---not only mine, but also the good people who read this blog. And I can tell you one thing that another widow told me right at the start---you're going to make it. Some days you won't know how, but you will. And the other widows here, and the Lord will all help you along the way. <3


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