Thursday, December 2, 2010

What to do with the wedding rings

Thursdays are for resources, so check out this Dec. 11 holiday get-together if you're in the Chicago area. If you can attend, be sure to meet Wendy and let her know you've got a mutual friend here at WCP!

Do you ever wonder about your wedding ring? Do you wonder what people will say if you take it off? Do you wonder if you'll ever get another one? Do you want to change it in any way?

Post your thoughts by clicking on the comment line below, OK? I think we can really learn a lot from each other about this one.

During the first year, I loved my wedding ring and had no intention of ever taking it off. I felt loved when I looked at it, I felt safe and connected. But slowly, my mind began to change. Then something happened that helped me take it off without that naked, empty feeling on my finger: my parents gave me a ring that had belonged to my grandma. My grandma had always looked for pretty things, and I was at a point where I wanted to look for pretty things in life again, too--I'm not talking about pretty "stuff," but rather about the everyday beauty around me I'd been overlooking for a while--bright red cardinals, snowflakes, the companionship of our chocolate labrador (mmmm, yes, and chocolate!)  . . . So whenever I looked at my grandma's ring on my finger, I also opened my eyes to the beauty around me.

Yet I didn't like the thought of my wedding ring just sitting in the jewelry box. I hate to see a perfectly good diamond go to waste like that! I thought about what to do: save it for my son to give to his bride some day, put it in a pendant for a necklace, just outright sell it . . . ??? None of those ideas sat quite right.

What would you have told me to do with it? Add your comment by clicking the comment line below. And tell about your ring, or send a picture! We all love looking at jewelry. :)
Also, read what widow did with her husband's ring, and be encouraged by how much better her anniversary was this year compared to last year. Visit  http://www.gettingthroughthis.com/?p=4170

5 comments:

  1. I couldn't stand the reminder, and took it off immediately, much to the dismay of my family and friends. They didn't understand at all. I wore my wedding band and his wedding band on a necklace for about 2 years. It was after I met Chris that I felt brave enough to let those go. When Chris and I talked about getting married, I was adamant about NOT having 'another' engagement ring. It was too much 'like before'. Eventually I did find one, much different from the first one, and have a beautiful set once again on my left ring finger.

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  2. I intended to wear my rings for a long time. But...they were slightly big since I'd had them resized during my heavier, post-baby days. Then after my husband's death, I lost weight...and when I took my daughters to the ocean this summer I was so afraid I would lose my rings in the water. Making the decision to remove my wedding rings was very difficult.

    However, I chose to reset my engagement diamond in a setting with sapphires (my husband and I were both born in September) and I wear this beautiful new ring all the time. Buying and subsequently wearing this ring has been the most significant turning point in my grief journey thus far. There is beauty in my life / on my hand, and it is all because of my husband's influence and presence in my life.

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  3. Both John's band and my rings are sitting atop a portion of his ashes in a special box. I had not been wearing my wedding set since 1994, when my Mom passed away and gave me her wedding set. John loved the set so much, he told me to wear it instead of mine, which I thought was so sweet of him - I could have a reminder of my Mom AND a beautiful "new" wedding set! I kept wearing it for about a year after John died, not because I couldn't bear to remove them, but because I was just used to them being there. One day, I just didn't put them on. No particular reason. What I AM going to do is take John's band and make an eternity ring for myself, and wear it on my right ring finger.

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  4. Each of you have beautiful outcomes and stories about your rings. I loved hearing from you all and I hope to meet each of you sometime and see your lovely rings! (Carol I wish I'd have taken a look at yours at the wedding! I think I was just too thrilled with everything else to have the presence of mind! Be sure to show me next time we get together). Isn't it amazing how intensely important our rings become?

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  5. I haven't wore my wedding rings since three months after Kent passed away. They're tucked away in a safe, but I really like the idea of having them reset in a new ring. I'm going to look into it. Thanks for the idea, Rebecca!

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