Friday, September 10, 2010

FRIDAY FUNNIE: DIET RULES

A cheerful heart is good medicine . . . Proverbs 17:22
Hope these "rules" help you laugh out loud!

Diet Rules
  • If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
  • If you drink a diet soday with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
  • When you eat out, the calories don't count as long as you eat even one calorie less than anyone else in the restaurant.
  • Foods such as hot chocolate, pancakes, loaded baked potatoes, and cheese cake used for medicinal purposes never count.
  • If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
  • Movie-related food, such as Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Tootsie Rolls and Icee drinks are OK, because they're eaten in the dark.
  • Cookie pieces contain no calories. When broken the calories leak out.
  • Foods of the same color--like spinach and pistachio ice cream--have the same number of calories.
  • Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other color.  
(Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/fl4y/ )

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