Monday, August 2, 2010

Discouraging Thoughts and What To Do About Them, Part I

Monday's topic is grief. The process, the twists and turns, the questions, the hope . . .

They sneak up, like nasty little sucker punches. I almost hate to post them, but I've been wanting to survey which of these thoughts are most common in grief. If you haven't had any of these, that's great! But if thoughts like these have troubled you at any time, or if you've heard other people express such thoughts, please help me out with this survey.

Which of these untrue ideas do you think bother people the most when they're suffering or grieving?
  • God is punishing me.  
  • God loved my husband more than me.
  • Everything I touch goes wrong.
  • God has left me.
  • God doesn’t listen to my prayers.
  • God was too busy with other people when I needed Him.
For your convenience, I've put this list in a poll on the right sidebar of this blog.
It will only let you answer once, but you can select more than one answer.
Your answers are anonymous; I cannot track who voted for what. The more people participate, the better the results, so feel free to urge others to vote, too.

The poll will be up all week long. Next Monday I'll let you know the results and Scriptures that counteract these thoughts. (But if you can't wait until next week--if you need to know the verses NOW, just email me and I'll help you out right away). ferree


  1. I have thought every thing i touch goes wrong. I know that is not true. When my husband died i trusted in the Lord or i would have never made it my sadness was so strong."

  2. I never really felt or thought any of those. My biggest question, thought, prayer that I asked God, a LOT, and admittedly still do occasionally was/is "Why". Why do my kids have to go through this? But I also take comfort immediately that He has a purpose for them, and that His ways are not my ways. I trust Him!

  3. I don't feel as if I could participate in the survey as I have not had any of those feelings through losing my son, my husband, both parents and a grandson. It is a very traumatic experience to lose one we love and I believe the pain of losing a child or a husband is so great that it changes who we are. A part of us is missing and we will never be the same again. I also believe we can never cope, that there is no way to cope with such pain, but we learn to manage day by day and as time goes on we find a strength we never knew we had. I feel if I can survive this, I can do anything because nothing could possibly compare and here I am, still alive, still breathing. I have survived when I thought surely I would not. As for asking "why?" we really get into trouble when we ask because there are no answers and so our pain becomes worse. My son died at age 20 after battling brain cancer for 2 years and, even today I have to keep it pushed back and locked up, never asking why because no reason is good enough and I would surely die if I allowed myself to dwell on it, for though it has been 20 years the pain is as great today as then.

  4. I haven't felt like any of these either.

  5. I appreciate everyone's comments and taking the surveys. When I look at the survey results so far there's quite an array. Everyone please keep voting!
    Polly, you've had so many experiences, I thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and your walk. I agree that there is no reason or answer good enough in this world for our losses--I've told others that, too. It makes me look forward more and more to the day when God himself will wipe away every tear.
    Thanks again for sharing, everyone, and keep those comments and surveys coming. :)

  6. I feel the need to comment again for some reason I can't explain. I suppose maybe because I feel God already wipes away every tear, for without Him holding our hand, walking with us through the painful times in our life, leaving the 2 pairs of footprints ... perhaps it is during this almost unbearable pain that He carries us, leaving only one set of footprints because we are in His arms, until we could stand on our own with that strength He so lovingly provides for His children and once again the 2 pairs of footprints are proof He is still by our side should we falter.

  7. Beautifully said, Polly. God is so good and faithful to us, even at times we're not sure, those footprints show that He's lifted us up in His strong arms. Thanks for encouraging me!


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