Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Gas In 10 Easy Steps

Tuesdays are dedicated to Single Living Skills! Send in your handy household tips, recipes, directions for plunging the toilet and all the other fun stuff you get to do now. :) They can be serious and of actual help, or you can vent a little. I have to tell you, I couldn't help having some fun with today's topic:

GAS IN 9 make that 10! EASY STEPS

(This is about gas for your car. Aren’t you glad I specified?)

Dear Reader,

Pumping your own gas will make you feel like a totally liberated woman! Forget that it’s something you now have to do because that darn husband checked out on you. Look at it as your path to self-reliance, strength, and independence in a man’s world. OK, I’ll stop. I hate it, too. But here’s how to pump your own gas and make it easier on yourself. You’ll note I’m not using any technical words here.

1. Get a credit card with gas rebates on it. Use it only for gas and pay it off every month. With the credit card you’ll never have to enter the over-priced convenience rip-off store except to use the bathroom. (Although some of them have milk on sale or really good ice cream so you should go in).

2. Figure out which side of your car the gas hole is on. Put a post-it note on your dashboard to remind you, or decipher which little symbol on your dashboard points to which side your gas hole is on.

3. Drive up next to a gas pump so that your gas hole is next to it. That way you don’t have to hope the hose will stretch over the top of your car. Believe me, it won’t.

4. Now get out of your car. (Oops, turn it off, first).

5. Go over to the gas pump. Slide your credit card the way the picture shows you it should face. Select the 87 lead-free octane. Unless your engine "pings" like crazy you don't need a higher octane. (But if you drive a diesel engine you MUST use only diesel fuel and you’ll know because it sounds and smells like a semi-truck and of course you’ve read your owners manual). Open the little door to your gas hole and unscrew the cover –turn left to loosen, rightie to tightie.

6. Squeeze the handle of the hose. If you squeeze it all the way and let up, a lever will come down and catch in some notches that will hold it open for you. Then you could wash your windshield while the gas tank is filling. The lever pops off when it’s full so you don’t have to worry about it overflowing (most of the time), but I wouldn’t recommend totally walking away from it.

7. Note to self: put credit card back in wallet!

8. IMPORTANT: Remove the gas hose and nozzle from the car before driving away. (See big fireball video). Also screw the gas cap back on (rightie to tightie and listen for the clicks), and close the cute little door. It’s a hassle to have to replace gas caps and cute little doors. Just take my word for it.

9. DON’T EVER USE YOUR CELL PHONE AT THE GAS PUMP. My daughter yelled at me because I called her once while pumping gas. Apparently I could have blown the whole world to smithereens with one invisible little spark. Who knew? Don’t smoke, either. Especially at the gas pump. Poof, you know.

10. DON'T GET BACK IN YOUR CAR TO STAY WARM WHILE THE TANK FILLS! I just heard on the news last night that the static electricity caused by getting in and out of your car can cause an explosion!
I was joking about the "see big fireball video" in #8, but here's a news clip with a real fireball and some safety tips!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grQYr507r_A&NR=1  (This will take you off this site, just click your BACK arrow to return).
Now don't panic. Just remember to touch something else for your static electricity shock before you touch the gas handle or pump.

Now get out there and get gassed, you’ll be glad you did. Maybe next week we’ll discuss how to wash your windshield or what to do when you run out of gas. “Yoo-hoo” and white hankies are not an option.

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