Books By Widows and Widowers

Book Recommendations
by Candy Feathers http://reflectionsfrommyporchswing.wordpress.com/

FROM ONE WIDOW TO ANOTHER by Miriam Neff – This is the first book that I would recommend for a new widow and her family to read. It’s a resource book that really gives you guidance in all of the immediate things that you are going to be dealing with. It gives you the know how to do them as well as what you need to watch out for. It’s a book that is easy to digest in those first foggy months.

HOW TO HELP A GRIEIVING FRIEND by Stephanie Grace Whitson – This book really gives others some insight as to just how a widow is feeling and what she needs from her friends and family.

THE WIDOW’S MIGHT by Jan Thompson – This book is an easy read for a widow. It is basically a journal written by a widow of the first year of her life after the loss of her husband. It confirms that all the emotions that you are feeling are very normal.

STRAIGHT FROM A WIDOW’S HEART by Mildred E. Krentel – This book is written by a widow whose husband had a prolonged illness. It’s written from the perspective of a care giver as well as a woman after the loss of her husband.

GRACE FOR THE WIDOW: A JOURNEY THROUGH THE FOG OF LOSS by Joyce Rogers – This book is especially good for widows who were married to a man in the ministry. Joyce became a pastor’s wife at the age of 18 and that’s all she had ever known. She was married for 54 years. The chapters are short and the book is an easy one to read without feeling overwhelmed with information.

REFLECTIONS OF A GRIEVING SPOUSE by H. Norman Wright – Even though this book is written by a widower, it affirms all of the feelings and emotions, grief triggers, and melt downs that a spouse experiences. The chapters are short and designed for easy reading.

LET ME GRIEVE BUT NOT FOREVER by Verdell Davis – Verdell had always prayed that she and her husband would die together at the same time because she did not think that she could ever live without him. Her entire identity was wrapped up in her husband who was in the ministry. She very honestly shares the emptiness, the questions and the fears that plagued her in her grief journey. She tells of the hope that anchored her soul when there was no desire to go on living.

RICHES STORED IN SECRET PLACES by Verdell Davis - This book somewhat repeats Verdell’s story of loss in her first book LET ME GRIEVE BUT NOT FOREVER but also tells of the riches that came out of her grief journey and how she chose to live again.

REAWAKENING TO LIFE: RENEWAL AFTER A HUSBAND’S DEATH by Mary Ellen Berry & Carmen Renee Berry – This book is co-written by a widow and her daughter. She talks from the perspective of a wife and husband who believed that God was going to heal him and how her faith was shattered when God didn’t. “Holding on to the belief that God will heal our husbands may actually rob us of the opportunity to say what still needs to be said before time runs out.”

WIDOW FOR A SEASON: FINDING YOUR IDENTITY IN CHRIST by Kristine Pappas – This book deals with the question “What does it mean to really trust God after the loss of our husbands?” It is written for widows struggling to seek healing and emotional recovery and to help them find their identity in Christ.

THE TENDER SCAR by Richard L. Mabry  – This book is taken from the journals Richard wrote after his wife passed away. He validates all the emotions and grief that a spouse feels as he shares situations  he encountered.

FROM ONE SINGLE MOTHER TO ANOTHER by Sandra P. Aldrich – This is an easy-to-read book for a new widow especially. The author, who is a widow, doesn’t claim to have all the answers. She encourages widows to seek the Lord’s direction rather than give in to a desperate desire to be rescued. I especially loved that Sandra decided to tithe her life and give herself 10 years to learn more about the Lord and herself. She talks at length about dealing with loneliness and how to properly handle those natural sexual desires. At the end of each chapter she has a short summarized list of the important points in that chapter. This is helpful for widows in that “widow fog”. Sandra also talks about communicating and disciplining children and teens during life without a father. There are also good chapters on finances, how to sell and buy things, and how to deal with well-meaning relatives. An excellent book!

WILL I EVER BE WHOLE AGAIN by Sandra P. Aldrich – This is another excellent easy-to-read book especially for a new widow. It was the first time I found an author who said that anticipatory grief begins as soon as the diagnosis is given. The first two chapters are Sandra’s story of their 16 month battle with brain cancer. The rest of the chapters deal with the principles of grief that will not only help a widow understand her own pain, but will teach her how to help others who are experiencing grief. This is also the first time I've come across a widow affirming that there are times a widow needs to say “I’m sorry but I can’t deal with that situation yet,” or “I can’t solve that problem for you; I’m still hurting.” There is an excellent chapter on how to talk to children about death and grief. Sandra also talks about how to deal with the grief of a miscarriage, abortion, or the death of a child. One of Sandra’s friends said something to her concerning her guilt about not being in the room with her husband as he died that was helpful to me – “You didn’t abandon him. You got out of the way so that those who knew what to do could help.” Concerning the question most widows have of “Why aren’t You talking to me, Lord?!” the author gives her own answer of “Because I am too hurt to listen to His plans for the future. I am capable of receiving only His comfort for this moment. In time He will ease me off His lap and tenderly lead me to the tasks he planned. His silence doesn’t mean He stopped caring.” Sandra also says that if you had a good marriage, you have received more love than most people. It helps to think on that instead of what you have lost. An excellent book!


WHEN YOUR SOUL ACHES by Lois Mowday Rabey (a widow who remarried) – Lois and her two very young daughters purchased a ride for her husband in a hot air balloon and invited 2 of his closest friends to go along. Minutes after the balloon was in the air, it caught on fire. All 3 men lost their lives. The best advice this author was given was to slow down and wait on God to give her direction. She writes, “I think the best way to release the torturing mental images of a loved one’s last moments is to remember that they were also recipients of supernatural grace that carried them from this world to the next." She writes that many of us think that God’s peace means the absence of pain in our lives and that we believe that if we can do just enough of the right spiritual things, we can find comfort and no longer feel the pain of loss. This is not true. Lois shares that all of the pain doesn’t go away, but it lessens and peace increases. “No, pain doesn’t completely go away this side of heaven, so there’s no point in trying to run from it. Accept it and ask God to touch those deeply painful places of your soul with His love.” Lois talks about all those “if onlys” that widows go over and over in their minds. She also gives a wonderful resource for widows called Royal Treasure that offers information and seminars to educate women on financial matters with a specific emphasis on women who are making these decisions alone. Lois poses the question, “Could it be that God, too, knows how it feels to lose the one closest to you?” Great book that is easy to read and understand!


I LOST MY HUSBAND, NOT MY MIND! By Kathy Sheppard – Kathy lost her husband, mother, and brother all in one year and found herself alone for the very first time in her life after 33 years of marriage. She found that she wrestled, ignored, cried, and yelled at grief and came close to giving up. Kathy talks about the importance of having other widows in your life to share things with and talk to. Only another widow truly knows and understands what you are going through. She shares, “Crying is a way of life – at night, in the morning, in the shower, in the car, in the office. Crying is as easy and natural as breathing or walking.” She tells how she was afraid she had failed in the crisis areas of her life – that she felt like God was piling it on her and she was stumbling and at the point of breaking. This book is the most special to me because I lost my husband, mother and father all within 4 months’ time. It gives me hope that I, too, will make it through this very difficult grief journey that I am on.

Book Recommendations by Others

A TEARFUL CELEBRATION --Finding God in the midst of loss by James Means. "The last thing you want to do when crushed with indescribable pain and suffering is turn to the very God who allows it all to happen. What right does He have, especially now, to ask for your loyalty, your obedience, your love? When cancer took his wife and left him despairing alone, James Means unwillingly had to ask God the same questions facing you. A Tearful Celebration is the candid, pull-no-punches account of his struggle to understand God's ways and to stand firm in the face of incalculable loss." (quoted from Amazon.com)
This book was given to me by a dear sister in Christ who was also a widow. I have since given it to other widows as it was such a help to me. P.L.






Do you know a book by a Christian widow or widower that should be on this list? Please email the title and short summary to WCplace@gmail.com Thanks!