tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3382629264175127167.post1578316022317792329..comments2024-03-12T10:27:41.130-04:00Comments on Widow’s Christian Place: Talking to the DeadFerree Bowman Hardyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10739485535852107104noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3382629264175127167.post-55763040612151430592015-07-30T20:34:06.164-04:002015-07-30T20:34:06.164-04:00If there was a "like" button I would hit...If there was a "like" button I would hit it!D. Baksaihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03504523058170186754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3382629264175127167.post-66769006100985121762015-07-30T20:29:35.278-04:002015-07-30T20:29:35.278-04:00I pray the Lord will give you and your sisters pea...I pray the Lord will give you and your sisters peace in your time of loss. It's so hard to let our loved ones go. I'm so sorry. D. Baksaihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03504523058170186754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3382629264175127167.post-49543811677172732322015-07-30T20:12:53.318-04:002015-07-30T20:12:53.318-04:00Oh, I still do it! Not as much as I did at first, ...Oh, I still do it! Not as much as I did at first, but I do sometimes. I think after talking to him everyday for so many years,it just seems like the natural thing to do. I'll say, "Paul, you wouldn't believe what just happened," or "Why didn't you tell me that?" I just don't expect to get an answer. He's not able to answer me anymore, not even through a "Medium."D. Baksaihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03504523058170186754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3382629264175127167.post-49262914853065359642015-07-28T16:14:54.168-04:002015-07-28T16:14:54.168-04:00I'm so sorry for your loss, Debbie. I refer to...I'm so sorry for your loss, Debbie. I refer to those false comforts as "greeting card theology." It's sure not found in the Bible. You understand the truth though, and your thoughtful response it much more appropriate. I'll be praying for you over these next few days as you deal with the funeral and all it entails.<br />Ferree Bowman Hardyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10739485535852107104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3382629264175127167.post-5352504907144428512015-07-28T10:41:03.380-04:002015-07-28T10:41:03.380-04:00My mother died a few days ago. As my sisters and I...My mother died a few days ago. As my sisters and I sat with the pastor yesterday I heard my sisters stating those false comforts. "She will always be with us. She is looking down on us." I wanted to scream. <br /><br />When Jim died I sobbed and wailed, "Give him back God." My logical mind knew that wouldn't happen but my heart wanted it to be so. <br /><br />As we go through the funeral and time of mourning my mothers loss I will now respond, "Yes she will always be alive in our memories and love."<br /><br />Thank you.DebbieDaytona Damselhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00973995351685168211noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3382629264175127167.post-68887781767306261932015-07-27T14:36:46.332-04:002015-07-27T14:36:46.332-04:00Wise words Dodi, our husbands are no longer with u...Wise words Dodi, our husbands are no longer with us, nor can they speak to us. It's possible we will always miss them, but like you said so beautifully, "we never quit missing them because we never quit loving them." The hard days and heaviness of grief will eventually lighten though as long as we don't treat their memory as an idol and fill our thoughts with "if onlys..." Thank you for your compassionate insights today! (And thank you for the lovely note you sent me last week, it was perfect).Ferree Bowman Hardyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10739485535852107104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3382629264175127167.post-77916442085389934022015-07-27T13:44:35.584-04:002015-07-27T13:44:35.584-04:00Thank you D. Baksai for these reaffirming truths. ...Thank you D. Baksai for these reaffirming truths. About a year and a half ago a recent widow came to visit me in my grief and said "for solace I talk to my husband all the time, I know he is with me" I responded by a strange look to her ( saying nothing vocal) and then she said "don't you believe you can talk to Thomas? I said " there is no place in scripture this is supported and I believe it would be setting him up as an idol in the place of God, the Lord desires that we should come to him and talk ". <br /> God promises us in his word his gift of the Holy Spirit is with us and in us and will lead and guide us into all truth. (sometimes we get side tracked). However I do believe because of the heaviness and shock of grief it causes us (myself included) to grasp towards and lean upon every crutch and prop to alleviate the intenseness of our suffering.<br /><br />A couple weeks after Thomas's homegoing I went to the cemetery and removed the wilted flowers and as I was walking towards the dumpster to throw them away - the Lord so reminded me of this wonderful promise in scripture where the angel spoke to Mary at the tomb saying "He is not here He has risen why do you seek the living among the dead"? Still to this very day I know he is with the Lord and look forward with the joy and hope of one day being reunited.<br /><br />We never quit missing them because we never quit loving them<br />.<br />Dodi<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3382629264175127167.post-85916346407598246482015-07-27T12:34:54.475-04:002015-07-27T12:34:54.475-04:00No, no, no, I think what you're referring to i...No, no, no, I think what you're referring to is like our author mentioned at first---she talked to her husband too! It's a habit, it's like talking to yourself. Or like I talk to my cats. Harmless. We're not looking for or expecting any sort of answer, sign, or guidance. It would get sinful when one disobeys the many examples from Scripture of "what not to do." <br />Talking as you do is helping you work through this huge change of life and I expect it will begin to taper off after it's run its course.<br />Ferree Bowman Hardyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10739485535852107104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3382629264175127167.post-18552347780538759472015-07-27T12:07:42.762-04:002015-07-27T12:07:42.762-04:00It IS OK to talk to my husband, though. Is it not...It IS OK to talk to my husband, though. Is it not? I certainly do not expect an answer from him but I tend to say things like "I wonder what you would do about this" and "Oh, this is goofy, isn't it Eddie." I certainly hope I am not sinning by just talking like that. Please tell me if I am. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com