Wednesday, February 10, 2016

How to Deal With Valentine's Day

Do you think you'll want to mark Valentine's Day this year? Yeah, right! Of course you don't! Let's face it and admit it can be a challenge.       
But, you might be able to transform it by thinking ahead and planning to do something different. If you want to pretend the day doesn't exist and not acknowledge it at all, that's okay too. I often find that people deal with sorrow in two different ways:
  • remember/memorialize it
  • or choose to leave it alone. It's in the past, its been dealt with, and its time for the next chapter.
Depending on your background and personality, both of these methods can work. There's a third way too---have a pity party, but that won't get us anywhere.

If you'd like to memorialize the day or give yourself something to look forward to, here are a variety of things that might be meaningful for you:
  • Visit the cemetary and leave a message of candy conversation hearts to melt into the snow
  • Tie a home-made Valentine to a helium balloon and let it fly away to heaven
  • Collect old Valentines and love letters and put them together in a decorative memory box keepsake.
  • Create a collage of photos and frame it to hang on a wall or stand on your dresser.
  • Buy a package or two of school Valentine cards. Send them to your own children, nieces & nephews or other family members. Write a little love note on them.
  • Or send Valentines to various groups--nursing homes, children's hospital wards, missionary kids you pray for, your childrens' ministry leaders, your Bible study group or group leaders . . .
  • Offer to babysit for a married couple so they can enjoy a romantic evening out. Prepare a lot of fun things to do with the kids so you don't end up bored and feeling sorry for yourself.
  • Invite other widows over for tea or coffee and snacks, or a carry-in lunch or supper. Give them an opportunity to share their stories and send them home with a love verse from the Bible.
  • Plan something nice for yourself: learn something new! Sign up for Zumba lessons or Jazzercise. Take piano or guitar lessons (or take that first step and visit your local music store and ask about them); then rent a flute, violin or whatever and practice to audition for the local orchestra! Ask about singing with your church group or community choir. Volunteer at a food pantry or ask about a part-time job at something that interests you. Take a course at a community college. . .
--hey, I'm getting carried away here, but you get the idea. Plan some 
and show yourselfsome love and kindness.
I'd love to hear your ideas for the day this year and also what you've done in the past. Other widows love reading your comments and find them a big help.

P.S. Have you ordered your copy of Postcards from the Widows' Path yet for yourself or a friend? Now's the time to buybecause the sale ends next week! Save 20%! Click here to order. Thanks!


  1. I use this day to give a card with a handwritten note along with a small gift to each of my grandchildren as well as handwritten notes to my daughters and each of their husbands.

  2. That's a beautiful idea! You're creating a wonderful legacy for the next generation. Thanks for sharing!

  3. This is my second time through as a widow. It's not just Valentine's Day, it was my late husbands birthday. Last year there I was invited to a private tea party for several gals in church, and while I loved the company, I struggled through the entire event. Looking back, I can see where it was a time of strengthening for me spiritually and emotionally, but it was a tough lesson.

    Over the past 15 months I've grown into a widow—no I'm a woman of God, who is learning that let the past go and move forward. I have found this to be the healthiest way for me to live. My spiritual health, as well as my emotional health, are the better for it. I'm happier, more active, calmer, content and able to help others.

    This year it's a SUNDAY, so I'll be in church. I sing with the music team and I’m ready for the songs about loving the Lord, and my ladies group is singing special music and I’m spiritually and emotionally ready for that as well. I'll enjoy lunch with friends, just as I always do on Sunday, then home to rest and read and back to church in the evening. So this will simply be a normal Sunday. I believe that is the best way to spend Feb. 14th for me.

  4. What a well-thought plan, Mrs. Mac. You've grown through many tough lessons and will help many with your example. May the Lord abundantly bless you for the high price you've paid, and may you take great joy in That Day when He says, "well done, thou good and faithful servant!"

  5. Thank you for these good ideas. It's the day my husband died.

  6. Ferree, Lori McAbee referred me to this site. She was in the Going Ashore group. Thank you for all that you are doing for the Kingdom of God and these sweet widows.

    I lost my husband to a massive heart attack March 29, 2014 - our 11th anniversary. He was my Prince Charming/Knight in Shining Armor for sure. I do ok, and am moving on with my life in positive ways...going back to school, baby sitting my grandson, will be training to counsel at pregnancy center and babysitting new born grandson soon. But find it difficult to muddle through holidays as of yet. From October to March is difficult. October was when we met and his birthday month; Thanksgiving; Christmas; New Years; Valentines Day; my birthday; our anniversary/anniversary of his passing. God however is gracefully bringing me through and teaching me something everyday. I know by His grace I will be victorious again and will be loved and love again.

    Thank you again, I have seen some really good ideas to help me be victorious in my rough months.

  7. My heart so aches today for my love it's only been 11 days and I miss him so much.


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